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Is there more to Jesse Watters than just an answer to the burning query: “What if Ross from Friends was somehow even more unbearable?” It’s hard to believe, but here we are again with this Fox News personality getting tangled in yet another controversy, this time regarding a certain testosterone policy. It’s like Mercury is in retrograde and just decided to mess with the collective sanity of our military discussions—a real cosmic joke!
In a recent comment that stirred a pot of chaos, Watters casually connected the dots between a new military testosterone screening policy and what he deemed a forthcoming wave of uncontrollable behavior among service members. Instead of lighthearted banter, his words carried a heavy implication that military personnel might morph into… wild beasts? Seriously? Even his coworkers at Fox were visibly uncomfortable, almost like they could feel the awkwardness radiating through the screen.
As we dive into this spectacle, let’s untangle the knotted threads of absurdity and examine both the hilarity and the seriousness wrapped up in Watters’ musings—even as we keep an astrological lens on this utterly human conundrum. For those curious, buckle up, because this ride just might get bumpy!
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Is there more to Jesse Watters than answering the question: what if Ross from Friends, but worse?
In his latest controversy, the Fox News talking head decided to spin Pete Hegseth’s absurd new testosterone policy into more of a joke than it already is.
Unfortunately, instead of poking fun, his joke implied that United States servicemembers will become sexually indiscriminate, warning women within and without the military to beware.
Even among his fellow Fox News conservatives, it’s not going over well.
This week, Pete Hegseth put out a very weird video, which we’ll include further below.
In his announcement, he shared that members of the military over the age of 30 will receive annual screenings for their testosterone levels.
Those under the age of 30 may voluntarily submit to the screenings.
“Warfighters,” one of the silliest terms that we’ve heard in recent years, could then receive supplementary testosterone in case they are found lacking.
It’s all very weird. But it ties into the Trump regime’s obsession with hyper-masculinity at the expense of all else.
Watters: Women on base, you better be careful. Port calls, women in Asia, you better be careful. Because these guys are going to be wild animals and you better watch out. pic.twitter.com/R95gFpYEmA
— Acyn (@Acyn) July 16, 2026
This led to Fox’s The Five, the group of panelists — picture The View but if every panelist were Candace Cameron Bure — delved into the new policy.
Watters sounded downright gleeful as he warned women all across the world (including, for whatever horrific reason, Asian women specifically).
“You know what’s going to happen?” he teased.
“The guys that don’t need it are gonna take it – triple boost,” Watters warned excitedly.
“And then they’re going to get out there and women on base, you better be careful,” he continued.
“Port calls, women in Asia, you better be careful,” Watters continued, undeterred by signs of apparent discomfort from his colleagues.
“Because these guys are going to be wild animals,” he announced, “and you better watch out.”
Watters sounds like a panelist from a science fiction horror film shortly before the broader plot goes off the rails.
But, more than that, it sure sounded like he was joking about military members committing rapes and other acts of sexual assault, fueled by some sort of “haze” of testosterone.
Meanwhile, his fellow panelists seemed to squirm in their seats, unsure of what to say but deeply uncomfortable.
Fox News’ Jesse Watters discusses his distrust of bisexual women:
The whole bisexual thing—guys don’t get into that. When a girl is bisexual, we don’t trust her. The ones I’ve met are super weird. To say you’re bisexual, it’s not a turn on.
— FactPost (@factpostnews.bsky.social) June 26, 2026 at 11:56 AM
This is hardly the first time that Watters has gotten into trouble along this same line of thinking.
Just earlier this year, he joked about Jeffrey Epstein, characterizing the dead pedophile as “just a fixer, a guy who advises.”
He also raged against bisexual women (in relation to the Supergirl film, which did not delve into Kara Zor-El’s sexuality or anyone else’s), announcing that he finds anything but heterosexuality to be a turn-off.
Watters gleefully smearing military service members as rapists doesn’t only misunderstand the role that hormones play in behavior, he also seems to think of sexual violence as a humorous nuisance for women rather than a potentially life-and-career-ruining trauma.
He’s also just wrong. If you’ve ever known a guy on T, he’s more likely to like his home a little cooler and to have more snacks on hand than spring into violent action like a Law & Order: SVU twist on The Incredible Hulk.
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