Unlocking the Cosmic Cheat Codes: How Astrology and Alchemy Team Up to Hack Your Soul’s Upgrade—Prepare to Have Your Mind Blown!
Added on July 17, 2025 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Ever feel like you’re banging your head against the cosmic wall, only to realize the real fix might be lurking in the shadows of the 12th house? I’ve been harping on this idea for thirty years—yes, three decades!—that all problems dissolve not by wrestling with them head-on but by slipping through the secret, mysterious door of that elusive astrological chamber. Back in 2007, I tried to unpack this in a video, and oh, the chaos that ensued! Confusion reigned supreme, so I made two more videos (because why not triple the fun?), and still, many furrowed brows and endless “huh?” followed. I nearly gave up—tears and all—because, seriously, who wants to fail at explaining astrology four times? But here’s the kicker: this isn’t some dusty book theory. It’s lived experience. It turns out, the only real way out of your sticky mess isn’t through stubbornness, obsession, or anger (trust me, they’re all just detours), but the transformative alchemical process of the 12th house. And with the Saturn-Neptune tango lighting the cosmic stage right now, could it be more relevant? Buckle up, honey, because this journey through suffering towards transcendence isn’t a shortcut to the “land of milk and honey” (spoiler—it’s not on this plane), but a mastery of endless alchemical cycles. Ready to face the music? I sure am. LEARN MORE.
I’ve held the belief, all problems are resolved via the 12th house, for many years. Try, thirty years! I tried to explain this on video, in 2007. Unfortunately, I confused people so I made a second video. People remained confused, so I made third video. A good many still found me, incomprehensible. At that point, I was frustrated to the point of tears so I withdrew. You know. Never mind, never mind, never mind! I just wasn’t into a failing a fourth time.
See, this was not something I read in a book. I’ve been working with astrology since I was a child. My theory was derived from my personal experience. People often want to read what’s familiar and validating. This was original. I understand things differently now, but at the time, I thought to myself, Elsa, just shut up.
I did bring this up, here or there, over the last 18 years. The audience here has evolved over time. If you’re curious all the videos can be access here. They’re actually very short.
My theory is pretty simple. If you’re as mad as spit, you still have a problem (1st house).
If you’re stubborn, you still have a problem (2nd house).
If you’re obsessing, you still have a problem… etc.
It’s only when you transcend via the 12th house, your burden disintegrates. It disappears. Note the relevancy, with the current Saturn Neptune conjunction.
I thought at the time, this was the only way in the whole wide world to rid yourself of a burden. I still think this! I think it harder than ever. I don’t care if you kill your problem and stick it in a grave. That grave is going to make a lot of noise!
As I mentioned, I got talking to AI about alchemy. See, The Meaning Of Alchemy In Everyday Life. I think I got lucky, because what was returned to me was so gripping. My theory was validated, which was nice. But it was also enhanced and expanded my ideas, so this may be beyond mere luck! More like something came through the portal, to help, little Elsa, who tries so hard! She needs it!
Here’s the biggest thing I was missing: you can’t go directly to “transcendence”. You get there via suffering. All these supposed light beings? How about, naaah. You must go through the alchemical process.
If you do manage this, guess what’s on the other side?
Another alchemical process.
These seems important to consider, especially if you’re the type always trying to get to the land of milk and honey on this plane. Since that land does not exist on this plane, it makes a lot more sense to master the alchemical process.
Who can relate?
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