"Why 80s & 90s Kids Are the Unbreakable Unicorns of Adulting: 8 Wild Reasons You Won’t Believe!"
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In a world where Gen Z is busy ‘liking’ and ‘scrolling’ their way through life, let’s take a moment to reflect on the grit and resilience of those born in the 80s and 90s—Millennials and Gen Xers, who didn’t just survive their childhoods but thrived in ways that would baffle today’s over-scheduled kiddos. Picture this: You’re waiting for your favorite TV show to come on instead of binge-watching an entire season in one sitting. Remember that? With the moon in a determined position today, it’s a good time to reflect on how these generations carved out their own paths, fiercely challenging the norms set by their parents. Sure, Gen Xers embody that “do-it-yourself” spirit, while Millennials—those trailblazers of the digital age—are the sound of change. But what exactly makes us, the kids of the 80s and 90s, the most mentally resilient adults today? Let’s dive into the reasons behind our tenacity and find out what our past has taught us that shapes how we tackle life now. LEARN MORE.
Millennials and Gen Xers are both resilient in their own way. While Gen Xers were raised with a “do it yourself” grit mentality, millennials, born and raised in the 90s, are challengers. But both of these generations are not afraid to push back against their parents’ norms and push forward with a progressive, communal stance.
While there are many collective reasons kids raised in the 80s and 90s are more mentally resilient and strong as adults, the ways they manifest look very different.
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Every generation had to adapt to technology and the internet at some point in their lives. It’s somewhat of a necessity in our modern society. But millennials and Gen Xers often had to adapt earlier in life, making it a challenge that came with the learning curves of adulthood they were already facing.
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They became the bridge between young generations, who grew up almost exclusively with these devices and tools, and older ones, who had entire young lives before they came along. They became wired for adaptability and resourcefulness, even if it put them between two generations constantly pitted against each other in the workplace and at home.
Many kids today are missing out on growing resilience and independence early in life because they’re overly supervised during free time. Instead of having unsupervised play time to manage themselves or boredom to fill without a watchful parent, their time is overly structured by parents worried about safety and routine.
Kids in the 80s and 90s were some of the last generations to actually have time for themselves. They bred self-reliance and critical-thinking skills from facing most situations on their own, even if it was something as harmless as an argument with other neighborhood kids outside.
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Boredom is more than essential for kids. It’s what directly feeds into all kinds of core traits, from self-esteem to creativity. But for many Gen Zers and younger kids, their childhoods were defined by constantly accessible stimulation, whether it was devices or the TV. They could fill their alone time with input from screens and the internet, while their older counterparts were forced to fill it themselves.
Kids raised in the 80s and 90s became more resilient because their time was their own. They had to stimulate their minds by going outside and socializing without having the crutch of a screen to comfort them. Leaning into challenges and getting out of their comfort zone wasn’t a choice, it was an obligation.
Whether it was waiting for their favorite TV show or for their film to develop, or even to save for a toy their parents couldn’t conveniently buy, many kids from this era learned to wait early. Compared to the craving for instant gratification that many kids today have as a result of the internet and their screen time, they knew how to manage their discomfort.
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While it was certainly annoying for these kids at the time, they became more resilient through these glimpses at adversity. They cultivated patience early on and learned to manage discomfort, instead of avoiding or running from it instantly.
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Many millennials and Gen Xers raised in the 80s and 90s had all sorts of expectations from society and parents about where their lives should go, but many had free schedules. They chose their sports and extracurriculars, and even had jobs. They managed their free time because they had boredom to deal with.
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Compared to many Gen Zers and younger generations today at risk of burnout because of parent-supervised schedules and expectations, they learned resilience and responsibility on their own. They were rarely pressured into a million different programs and extracurriculars for the sake of promises that weren’t realized in the end.
Many kids today get an allowance for chores and have some responsibilities to clean up after themselves, but older generations know what it’s like to have a full-time job at home. Every family is different, and these sweeping generalizations don’t make sense for everyone, but most millennials and Gen Xers babysat siblings and did household labor.
That’s why they’re often coined the latchkey generation. They were expected to mature early and deal with problems on their own, without any kind of extra praise or compensation. That’s where their “do it yourself” mentality today typically comes from.
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Even when more technology devices were coming out in the world, kids in the 80s and 90s still had far fewer digital distractions than their Gen Z and younger counterparts. They didn’t have any of the attention problems of a kid with constant stimulation, and instead read books and filled their boredom without that nagging feeling of avoidance.
They’re more resilient and disciplined today because they’re not looking for an escape. When they have a project that can’t be procrastinated or a problem that needs to be faced, they can lean in without being immediately turned off by discomfort.
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While kids today have their failures broadcast on social media or immediately noticed and called out by overprotective parents, Gen Xers and millennials had more space to struggle. Because they spent a lot of time alone, falling down and making mistakes were regular parts of their lives, without much immediate comfort.
Whether it was literally falling down outside and needing to comfort themselves, or messing up on a homework assignment and needing to face a hard conversation with a teacher, they did it. They couldn’t run away or expect their parents to solve every issue for them, so they’re comfortable as adults accepting and growing from their struggles.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
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