The cosmic dance of the planets often has us navigating unexpected twists and turns—much like my recent encounter with a major corporation. Imagine receiving a certified letter that sets off a chain reaction of awkward phone calls, voice mail confessions, and a whirlwind of corporate chaos wrapped in layers of fabricated niceties. It’s almost like the universe conspired to serve up high comedy in real life! Will they keep their promises, or am I just another player in their game of corporate charades? Grab your popcorn as we dive into this tale where the mundane meets the absurd, complete with written confessions of wrongdoing. It’s a journey through accountability (or lack thereof), with a dash of humor brought on by the celestial alignments. Buckle up, because this isn’t just any letter—it’s a revealing peek behind the corporate curtain. LEARN MORE.

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My certified letter arrived at company headquarters and my phone rang within an hour. I missed the call, but the gal with an impressive title left me a voice mail confirming they had my letter and they would address everything, very quickly. Being a person of my word, it never occurred to me she would not follow through. She’d left a record on my phone, right?

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I actually had two messages. I intended to return the other call, but I dialed the company gal mistake.  I recognized her voice when she picked up. Oops!

She was  surprised and instantly, fake, cloying and accommodating. “Elsa! I just left you a message.”

“Yes, I got it. Thank you. And I’m embarrassed to say, I had two messages and I’ve dialed the wrong number. I meant to call the other gal…”

Awkward.

I include this because it’s funny and this sort of the tone is maintained throughout this ordeal. I’m real person, interacting with the machine. It’s high comedy, from my perspective. Real truth colliding with Fake lie, over and over and over again. Elsa careening around corners in a truck, scraping things.

Am I perfect? No. But after that embarrassment, I carried on with my day, feeling confident the issue was in the right hands. Mentally, I gave her a week to ten days to sort it. I’m not a bitch. Fix the problem and we’re good.

Within a few days, I got a nice email update. The company’s attention is on this. They’re working as fast as they can. I’m a swaddled baby,  essentially. This was  my impression. I don’t like that feeling. I want the ledger fixed, but whatever. Things were moving in the right direction. I figured she was addressing my hologram and I let it ride for a short time.

That time passed, and I pressed  her. I was surprised when she responded with a written confession to a serious crime. Here’s how this unfolded…

“We are going to fix this right away.”
“We are fixing this as fast as we can, we are working extra special hard, for you.”
“We know we have committed this crime and we should not have done that so of course we’ll make it right.”

Okay.  So why is it not fixed?  I had no idea. But I prefer to avoid a fight, if possible so I took the path of least resistance and gave her more time.

I could be patient, because I knew I was right. I’ve had a Royal Flush since day one. If they need to “get with legal” and look in filing cabinets to discover this; be my guest.   But the excuses and delays continued. My patience wore out and I moved on them.

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