Shack Man's Final Wig-Flip: Cashing in on Curls as SEO Stars Align for a Wild Ride to Retirement
Added on April 22, 2025 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Ever found yourself dialing back time with a rotary phone, only to wish there was a “hang up on this nonsense” button? Imagine it’s the era of retro vibes, and Shack rings you up with a last-minute change in plans that could make even Mercury retrograde look smooth.
Chapter 47 – “Wigging For Fun, Profit, and Cosmic Confusion”
I answered the phone, hoping for anything but more drama from Shack. “Hello?”
“Well Elsa,” Shack started, “you know that house we’re supposedly closing on in a few days? I’ve got a wacky idea.”
My heart sunk because with Shack, hollow promises often call not long after.
He proceeds to tell me he thinks he might want to keep the house, which even at that moment I knew was a celestial caper, not a Capricorn maneuver! I had been waiting, yearing, for that closing like a hypothetical Hollywood ending, and now Shack was hitting me with a plot twist only a B-movie would be proud of.
So, I did what any self-respecting astrology enthusiast would do: I wigged out. That’s right, I charted a course for full-blown, cosmic comedy confrontation, using tactics only Mercury in retrograde would dare attempt. And, oh, I channeled my inner Libra justice to ensure this deal was going to close, or Shack would find himself living in a soap opera he couldn’t escape.
Think about the most dramatic scene in a soap opera where you want the plot to just, you know, resolve already… and that’s where Shack had taken this.
But the cosmos had other plans. I got a housewarming gift, a computer loaded for astrological blogging, and an ex-husband with a supportive side that made me question, Was Shack the exception that proves the rule?
Now, am I recommending people wig out for fun and profit? Not exclusively. But, remember, the stars can set you on a path of action when all else fails! LEARN MORE.
Catch up here – Shack Man
Chapter 47 – Wigging For Fun & Profit
“Hello?”
“Elsa, it’s, Shack. Do you have a minute so we can talk?” he asked.
I felt sick and my heart started to pound. “Yes, what it?” I asked.
“I know we’re going to close on the house in a few days,” he said. “I was wondering something.”
“What?” I asked, with that feeling rising in my chest. I had been counting the minutes, till the closing.
“I was wondering if you’d mind postponing the closing,” he said.
“What? Why? It’s all set. What’s the reason?” I asked.
“Well, I’m thinking about keeping the house,” he said. “I really like it and I may want to keep it,” he said.
“What? Shack, I have a lot of money tied up in that house. I’m trying to get settled, here. We managed to sell it at a profit. The buyer is ready to go. I need to get my money out.”
“Well, I could maybe buy you out,” he said.
“With what money?” I asked. I was confounded by this. Our buyer was ready to wrap.
“I talked to my family. They’re thinking of loaning me the money so I can keep the house,” he explained.
“What? It’s too late for that. The house is sold! There’s a buyer, expecting their keys in a week,” I said. I was acting chill as I could, with my heart beating out of my chest.
“I just really like the house, Elsa. I think I’d like to keep it. I’ve spoken with my family and I think they’re willing to help me keep it. My brother-in-law may loan me the money,” he explained.
I was stunned. “I’m sorry, but it’s too late. I’ve been completely displaced. I need that money so I can settle myself. It’s been hard enough, plus the buyers have a deal. I’m sorry, but it’s too late.”
“Ohhhh-kay!” he said, making me sound like I was unreasonable.
He hung up.
I sat a minute and realized, he did not affirm we were going to close. I started to feel panicky, never mind how insulting this was.
I called my sister.
“Hey, Shack called,” I said.
“What!?”
“He wants to keep the house. He doesn’t want to close, as planned. He wants to postpone the closing so he can get his family to loan him the money so he can buy me out.”
“You don’t want to do that, do you?”
“NO! We are days away from closing! I’m almost out of this,” I wailed. “Plus we have a contract, that splits the money, fairly. He’s talking to his family, yet again! I am days away from being done with all this!”
“So he ignores you this whole time. He drags his feet, returning calls you have no choice but to make. Now, a few days before you’re out of this, he calls wanting to know if you mind having your money tied up longer, never mind you emotions. You told him no, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but he did not commit to selling. He did not say he would show up for the closing. He just hung up.”
“He hung up on you?”
“No. Sort of. He just hung up. He left the impression, he was going to call them back, with something along the lines of, the bitch won’t cooperate, or some such thing! So now I don’t know what’s happening. Will he show up at the closing? Will he break this deal? Can he break this deal? It’s the brother-in-law considering giving him the cash.”
“What a jerk! This is the rich brother-in-law, right? Both brother-in-laws are attorneys, aren’t they?”
“Yes, and yes.”
“Do you think they’re fucking with you?”
“Maybe. But it’s just as likely he’s fucking with, Shack, and I’m collateral damage. That guy has endless money. If I can put the money together from my child labor, he’s could do this instantly. Apparently, this is under consideration, so yeah. They may be fucking with him… or me, I don’t know.”
“But here’s what I know! We have a contract that closes in few days. The contract is fair to both of us. We also have an “amicable” divorce, we’re filing for virtually nothing. This should all be finalized, very soon and I want that to happen. I do not want it undone for any reason. I don’t want to get into something protracted, with this family. We were in agreement, but now I don’t know what is going on.”
“You think he’s going to get his brother-in-law involved and fuck with you?” she asked.
“Oh God. You’re making me, actually feel paranoid.”
“You’re not usually paranoid, Elsa. If you’re feeling that way, there may be a reason.”
“Oh for Godsakes. When is enough, enough with these people?”
“He may feel he lost his brother because of you…”
“Hey! I am already feeling paranoid! Don’t feed it. The question is, can he kill the deal?”
“I don’t know. But that guy has a lot of money. People like that can fuck with a person, endlessly, if they choose to.”
“But would he? Why would he do that? I have done nothing to him.”
“Based on what this family has already done to you, for doing nothing to them, I’d say it’s possible. Elsa, this family is low. There’s no telling what they’d stoop to.”
“Okay. Okay. I’ve had it. I’m not going to sit here and worry about it, and make myself, paranoid! I’m sick of secret conversations! I am going to stop this shit, right now. That house will close and our divorce will be filed or I am going to unleash on this son-of-a-bitch!”
“Elsa! What are you going to do?”
“Everything in my power, to see that all of this is done this week, on schedule. I’ve gotta go.”
“Elsa!”
“Don’t worry.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Wig! Wig out! I’ll call you back!”
Click!
I thought about it for less than five seconds, then called, Shack. He actually picked up, no doubt thinking I was going accommodate his buying me out. Yes he was that dense!
I kept my voice, low and slow and growly; something he’d never heard before. “I think you better listen to me, motherfucker. You’ve fucked with me one time too many…”
I told him should file the divorce, immediately, as he’d promised to do. I said if the house didn’t close as scheduled, I was going to wreck him in ways he could not begin to imagine.
I specified, I had no reputation to protect, but he seemed to care quite a bit about his. I promised to destroy his crafted image, in a number of ways, specifically threatening to go to his workplace, with a Mr. Microphone, to jump on a desk and tell everyone, what he was really like.
“Shack, I’m pretty entertaining. I think people might be very curious what I have to say. I’ll dress nicely! The police may come for me, but you’ll never get the cat back in the bag when I’m done. You’ll probably need a new job…”
I also told him I had no qualms destroying his stereo, and anything else, I found in my path, if he cost me so much as a dime more in time or trouble.
I added many, many, many more threats and then I said, “OR, you can keep your word. File the divorce by the end of week and close the house as planned. If you take this option, I guarantee, you’ll never hear from or see me again.”
“I will keep my word.”
“Thank you,” said, Libra.
Click.
The divorce was filed and the house closed on time.
A week or so later, I was in my new apartment, which I really liked. The phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Peewee! I was hoping I’d catch you. How’re your new digs? Are you getting settled?”
It was my (first) ex-husband. We were good friends (really). We spoke, frequently. He was aware of the whole shack story. That’s his chart, shown.
“Yeah. I like the place a lot. What’s up?”
“Well, I’m here in, Denver, and I have a housewarming present for you, if you want it,” he said.
“What is it?”
“You still want to write about astrology, doncha?”
“I do.”
“Well, I got a computer for you. It ought to help you do that. My job bought me a new machine. They said we could take the old one home. I already have a computer at home so I thought I’d pass this one on to you.”
“Thanks! But I still don’t know how to use a computer.”
“Sure you do. I’ll set it up for you. Then all you have to do is sit down and type. I’ve got an old printer for you, too. It’s a hunk-a-junk, but you’ll need it if you want a hard copy of anything you type.”
“Do you think I should learn this?”
“Yes! It’s all going that way. Look, I’ll just bring it over and hook it up. You can try it at your convenience. If you don’t like or it’s in your way, I can come back and pick it up.”
“Okay, that sounds good. Thank you!”
“You’re welcome. I’ll be over in about twenty minutes.”
He stopped by and set up the machine. “This is a nice place,” he said, looking around. “I’m sorry you got wrapped up with that guy. He sounds like a real prick.”
I laughed. “To say the least!”
“Well, I’m glad you’re got your money out, your divorce will be final soon, and you can get back on track. Just a little detour, there,” he said. We chuckled.
“Do you think I can pull this off?” I asked.
“Yeah, I do. You can, and you will. You’re a force of nature, Peewee. When you set your mind to something, you always make it happen.”
He pulled a chair in place in front of the machine. “There you go. It’s ready when you are! I’ve gotta get going. See ya, Peewee!”
There were too many signs. This is when I knew I’d make it.
Epilogue:
Shack never remarried nor had any children, from what I can tell. I kept my word and never contacted, him again. However, when I married my husband and subsequently, remarried him in the Catholic Church, our marriage had to be annulled. The church sent, Shack, paperwork, which he signed and returned.
Two years after these events, Shack’s brother met and married his wife. They remain married today. They live in his “dream state”.
The people bought our house, still live there after all these years. It’s value has appreciated, 500%.
I have never returned to the Vietnam Memorial.
I warn people when they are dating a “flight risk”.
Sonia Dada has the anthem for the relationship… I love this song. Shack would have hated it!
A reader sent me this, in regards to this story. Inspired! Talking Heads – Once in a Lifetime
~~
Shack’s father’s chart is posted here.
Burning questions are welcome. So are your thoughts about what happened here.
Thanks!
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