Unlock the Secret Phrase Celebrities Swear By to Get a YES—And No, It’s Not “Please” (But Close!)
Added on November 27, 2025 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Ever wished you had a cosmic cheat code to nudge people into saying “yes” without the usual tug-of-war? Imagine if a simple phrase could magically double your chances of getting what you want—no hocus pocus, just pure human psychology at play. Turns out, like Mercury doing a tricky dance in retrograde, our minds rebel when we think freedom’s being threatened—but gently reminding someone they can say no actually works wonders. This clever little technique, known as “But You Are Free” (BYAF), flips the script by giving people permission to refuse, which paradoxically makes them more likely to agree. Curious about the phrase that’s causing such a stir—and why it taps into our stubborn streaks almost as expertly as a mischievous Sagittarius? Dive in and discover how a few well-chosen words might just be your new secret weapon in everyday persuasion. LEARN MORE.
What if there was a secret password that could teach you how to get your way, and all you had to do was use it? Well, such a thing would be pretty magical (and probably illegal in at least a handful of countries, to be honest). Research analyzing 42 studies involving over 22,000 participants found that one simple technique can actually double your chances of getting someone to say yes to your request.
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But there are phrases and persuasive words in the English language that seem to have a knack for creating opportunities where there were none before. It might not be the “Open Sesame!” answer to all of your problems, but it might help influence people when you’re asking for help or making decisions.
The technique, called “But You Are Free” (BYAF), works by explicitly giving people the right to say no, which reaffirms their freedom to choose and reduces the automatic resistance people feel when they think their freedom is being threatened. The phrase that happens to be the most persuasive, however, is a little surprising, as it suggests that the people it’s directed toward will not help out. Just what exactly is this magic phrase that seems to have the power to sway people’s minds?
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Saying the phrase, ‘I know you’ll probably refuse, but…’ can get you anything you want. Starting sentences off with this phrase when you’re looking for the other person to either pitch in money, effort, or time seems to have a strangely magnetic pull for them to do what you want them to do.
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In 2016, behavioral scientist Nicolas Gueguen stopped just over 640 people on the streets of France to ask for their help in donating to an organization that helps children. In half of the instances that he stopped people, he began his statement with, “You are probably interested in organizations for children with health problems. I wonder if you could help us by donating.”
For the other 50% of people, they were given a bit of a variation on this statement by adding in the magical phrase listed above: “You are probably interested in organizations for children with health problems. You will probably refuse, but I wonder if you could help us by donating?”
In the first group, only 25% of those who were asked donated anything. The second group, whose decision was influenced, had 39% of those involved making donations.
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Not only was their donor pool higher than the first group’s, but they also donated a bit more, bringing their average donations close to that of the first group, whose average was higher since there were fewer donors.
Scientists believe that phrases like this end up “tapping” into parts of our psychology. Since people all prefer to exercise their own free will, having someone suggest that they will not participate makes them that much more eager to do so, if only to prove that it was their own decision.
Realistically, it’s probably just because people are stubborn and like to have their own way, but either way, it does prove that there are, in fact, phrases that can manipulate the human ego almost as well as “Open Sesame!”
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These phrases make you feel like the other person has already figured out what you’re going to do, and therefore has removed your freedom of choice. It makes people more likely to respond to the positive, rather than just refusing, because they want their choice to be theirs and theirs alone.
So basically, it reverts us all to rebellious teenagers ready to leap at the chance to do whatever someone thinks we won’t. Whatever the reason, these phrases are scientifically tested for their ability to influence decisions, so just remember not to use your powers of persuasion for (too much) evil.
Research demonstrates this technique works across different cultures and even with high-stakes requests, proving its effectiveness extends far beyond simple favors. The next time you need to ask for something, remember that giving someone permission to refuse might be exactly what makes them more willing to help.
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Merethe Najjar is a professional writer, editor, and award-winning fiction author. Her articles have been featured in The Aviator Magazine, Infinite Press, Yahoo, BRIDES, and more.
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