Shack Man Spills the Cosmic Tea: Outbursts, Oddities, and Off-the-Wall Chats Inside!
Added on April 20, 2025 inASTROLOGY CARDS
Popular
Numerology Meets Netflix: Get Your Daily Dose of Cosmic Cinema Suggestions Powered By Our AI Astrologer. Find The Show Or Movie You Were Meant To See!
Then Join Our FREE Newsletter To Watch Your Choice Of Movies And Shows For FREE Plus Get The Latest Entertainment News And Updates!
Ever caught yourself in a situation so ridiculous, so out of left field, that you felt like those deer caught in the headlights—quite literally stunned into stillness, not by oncoming traffic, but by the sheer absurdity of life? Well, today’s astrology highlights a Mars-Neptune alignment that’s like a cosmic prank. This transit can make you feel exactly like our dear protagonist, Elsa, in Chapter 45 of “Shack-Man: A True Story.”
Here’s a thought-provoking question for you: Have you ever been in a situation where reality seemed to bend in unpredictable ways, much like the emotional twists and turns in this chapter?
Chapter 45, aptly titled “Blubbering & Various Conversations,” dives deep into the heart-wrenching, laughter-tinged chaos of life after a breakup. Elsa, amidst her sobs, finds herself at a crossroads — literally and metaphorically. With a house sale to finalize, no furniture, and an identity crisis ensues. It’s like the universe is playing a cosmic game of chess with her life during this confusing transit.
Navigating through this turbulent time, with Neptune’s fog and Mars’ drive at play, Elsa’s story resonates with anyone who’s felt stuck in the headlights of life’s headlights. She grapples with where to live, what to do next, all while being emotionally hijacked by Mars-Neptune energy.
Think about your own experiences. Has there ever been a time when your plans seemed to be hijacked by external forces or internal emotions? Elsa’s tale, with its mix of crying jags and bizarrely poignant moments, like being compared to various historical and fictional figures, reminds us that sometimes life’s comedy is the most potent when it’s least expected.
If you’re dealing with your own Mars-Neptune confusion, remember, it’s okay to laugh through the tears and to find solace in the absurdity. Just as Elsa finds unexpected humor and support from friends like Kay, calling you out with a line from a movie, you too can harness the lighter, fog-cutting side of Neptune’s Neptune obscurations.
So, what’s your strategy when life’s headlights make you look stunned? Share your own tales of transit-induced chaos or confusion in the comments below. Or are you giving you some astrology survival tips inspired by Mars and Neptune?
Want to dive deeper into Elsa’s cosmic whirlwind? LEARN MORE.
Catch up here – Shack Man
Chapter 45 – Blubbering & Various Conversations
Shack went back to work on Monday. This is when it hit me and the crying began. Dee was the friend in closest proximity to me. I can’t tell you the heaving sobs she witnessed. In fact, it wasn’t until I saw the pain her face, watching me that I realized the pain I was in. I’d been shut down, and patient for so long.
Boy was she pissed. She had a little truck and if she’d had seen him crossing the street, she’d had gunned it, and run him down.
I was like a deer in headlights. I didn’t want to be the house, but I had nowhere to go. I had to find somewhere to live. I was an hour from Denver. It was very inconvenient.
The house sold for full price and no, I didn’t gloat. Also, having Capricorn, I never count my chickens before they’ve hatched. But the sale did start the clock ticking.
My head was in a knot. I was sobbing on and off, all day and all night. I really didn’t want to rent an apartment for a year. Short term leases were hard to find. I also had no furniture, etc.
I didn’t want to buy a house in a panic. I was in no shape for the stress of selling and buying properties, simultaneously, again, anyway. Matter of fact, I didn’t even know who I was, other than I was no longer, Mrs. Man.
I called my sister.
“How are you doing?” she asked.
“Like, shit.”
“Have you figured out what you’re going to do?”
“No. I hate being here!”
“Why don’t you leave?”
“I don’t know where to go. I’m crying all the time.”
“Move in with, Kay, like she asked you too.”
“Oh, I hate to put her out. It’s not like I’m any fun. I’m a fucking wreck.”
“Elsa, she doesn’t care. She’s your friend and she loves you. Why are you still there, anyway? Get your shit and go!”
“I’m supposed to be here to sell the house. Inspection and whatever. I definitely want the sale to close.”
“Let him deal with that! You did all the work to get you in there, now you’re supposed to do all the work to get you out? He really thinks he’s a King. That Neptune on your midheaven is something else! I’ve seen you mistaken for a lot of things, all my life, but, Anne Boleyn?”
“Anne Boleyn?”
“This motherfucker thinks he’s the King and you’re his wife, Anne Boleyn, who he’s sent to stay in the tower!” she said,
“Oh God. It’s worse than that. I think I’m here to babysit his stereo,” I said.
“Elsa, get your shit and go. I mean it. Hang up, pack up, and go to, Kay’s. I’m sure she’ll be glad to have you back. You two had all kinds of fun.”
That started me crying.
I stuffed my clothes in garbage bags and went to stay with, Kay, which was fun, in between my sobbing jags.
I was in contact with the agent, handling the sale. It was clear to me, she thought whatever happened between, Shack and I, was my fault. Typical. I have the eighth house.
I heard nothing at all from, Shack or his brother. It hurt so bad. When I had to reach, Shack, over the house sale, I had to leave several messages, imploring him to return the call. The agent did not catch on. I set this aside. I just wanted the house to close.
Kay tried to cheer me up and she had a good deal of success. She’d come home from work, open the door and yell, “Hi, Honey! I’m home!”
She was stunned at my natural domesticity. I don’t know what to say about that. If I come to your house and there’s no food, I will fix the situation.
There was a movie that was very popular in, Denver, at the time. “Like Water For Chocolate”. I’d never seen it, but I was aware of it, because several people had stopped me on the street, to tell me I looked like, Tita. Or rather, my energy was the same. Apparently, I was walking around, town being, “Tita” in the flesh, whoever that was. A stranger actually said that to me. “Look! It’s, Tita, in the flesh!”
I didn’t think anything about this. But then one day, Kay, walked into the apartment. She had a weird, tiny kitchen. I was in front of the stove, which face the front door, from behind a wall.
“Hi, Honey! I’m home!” she yelled.
No answer. I was trying to wipe my blubbering face on a kitchen towel so she wouldn’t see me and be upset.
“Don’t cry in the sauce!” she yelled.
I was behind the wall, stirring sauce for pasta. What? Can she see through walls?
I got my tears dried and stepped from behind the wall. “How did you know I was crying?” I asked. “And making sauce?”
“I can smell the sauce and the other was a guess,” she said, brightly. “That’s a line in a movie, Like Water For Chocolate. I saw it, when you were gone, being married. You’re just like, Tita”, she said.
“How?”
“Oh, she’s horny and she cooks all the time. She’s just like you!”
I laughed, but I swear, the room was spinning. I am an exotic piece of ass, an n-word, Mrs. Man, a nefarious person, not Mrs. Man, Anne Boleyn, and now I am, Tita, who is completely unknown to me. This transit was insane!
On the divorce front, I got the paperwork done. He was to sign and file, because he was in the proper county. I bought the kit; filing fee was about one hundred dollars.
The people who were buying our house were solid. They did an inspection and all we needed was a furnace filter. I asked, Shack to take care of this stuff, since he was close. He was clipped on the phone and sounded rage-y. It was painful. I was still completely confused. Who is this dude? I couldn’t miss him, because he wasn’t there.
Meantime, I found a really nice furnished apartment and I signed a six month lease. I was surprised when, Shack’s brother contacted me and said he wanted to see me. I can’t begin to describe how I felt hearing from him. Curious? Pissed? Hopeful?
He said he was taking care of the furnace filter for, Shack. Figures. At least I wouldn’t have to witness this, anymore. Can I meet him at the house at so and so, time?
“Yes, I can. I’ll be there.”
Click.
I got there first, because I have Capricorn. He came in with the filter in his hand. “I’ll take care of this first, if that’s okay?” he said. I nodded. “It’ll just take a minute,” he said.
He went downstairs and installed the filter. He came upstairs to talk. Neither of us sat down.
He held his hands out. “Can I give you a hug?” he asked. We hugged.
“First, I have to tell you, I can’t answer any questions about, Shack. I can’t betray and of his confidences. Do you understand?”
I nodded.
“Elsa, I just had to talk to you. I had to. My brother told me he would no longer be my brother if I spoke to you at all…” I started reeling, here.
“I told him, I don’t give a shit if you’re my brother. I’m going to talk to her and if you don’t want to be my brother when I’m done, I won’t miss you at all. In fact, I’ll be better for it.”
He stopped to breathe. He was breathing like a mad bull.
“I want you to know, nothing that has happened is your fault.” He used his hands to emphasize this. “I can’t believe how my brother has treated you and what he’s done to you. I HATE that motherfucker. I hate him as much as I love you, like a sister.” He was turning red.
“Elsa, I swear, if any other man did to you what brother has, I would kill that motherfucker. He would be dead, for what he’s done. To tell you the truth, I’d like to kill him anyway, even if he’s my brother. He deserves it, but I can’t do it, because as you know, I want to be a good man.”
“I know. I understand.”
“Elsa, I’ll tell you the truth, as you have always told me the truth. I have seen my brother pull some shit in his life. He’s done a few things I thought were questionable, but he has never, ever done anything like this. He’s never done anything, anywhere close to what he’s done this time. What he’s done is so bad, I don’t think I can forgive him. I just don’t think I can…”
He caught himself. He was near tears… of rage.
“Okay,” he said, slowing his speech, but still ready to explode. “I will have to forgive him, because he’s my brother, but I don’t know how I can do it. How can I? What he’s done to you is unforgivable, but I will have to try to forgive him, anyway.”
“If I can forgive him, it’s going to take at least ten years. It will likely take me twenty years or more, to forgive that motherfucker, for what’s he’s done.”
“I don’t want to forgive him. I can’t stand to look at his fucking face. I would like to never see his face again in my life, I hate him so much.”
He rested.
“I didn’t mean to dump that on you, I’m sorry. I just want you to know, that I know, the things they’ve said about you are wrong. I believe in you. I know what kind of woman you are. You are a wonderful woman and my family… well half of them are assholes, as you know. Shack is now on the asshole side. So my family is not half-asshole anymore. It’s now mostly asshole. I only have one sister now,” he said, choking up.
“I’m sorry, Shack’s brother.”
“Elsa, it’s not your fault. I’m aware of everything that has gone on, between you and, Shack. Everything. I’m also all of the family conversations. All of them. I know you are innocent of everything. I have tried to defend you, but I was not successful. I’m sorry for that as well.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s NOT okay. There is nothing fucking okay about what my family has done to you, including my brother, and your husband, who I now hate and cannot forgive.”
I shook my head.
“I wanted to talk to you to tell you, I had no knowledge he was going to do this to you. What any of them were going to do to you, or I’d have never helped him with any of this. I’d have never flown East and put you through all that. Up until now, I thought my brother was a good man. I want to be a good man too, so was trying to do right by my brother, who I loved. I vouched for that motherfucker and look what he did,” he said, spitting mad.
“I want you to know I was not part of this and also, I want you to know, I will never vouch for him again. I will never do anything to help him get a woman or keep a woman or anything else, having to do with a woman. I will also NEVER BE HIS BEST MAN, EVER AGAIN.”
“I told my brother, if he meets another woman, I’m not going to help him with anything. I don’t even want to meet her. Don’t introduce me. I’m not going to meet her! And if he decides to get married again, I will attend his wedding, if invited, but I won’t stand up for him. He won’t have his brother as his best man. I will never, ever vouch for that motherfucker, with any other woman, ever again, for the rest of my life. Elsa, I guarantee you this.”
“Also, as you know, I would like to find a woman, myself. I would like to have a wife. You have given me hope; I might be able to find one. You’ve had a wonderful, positive affect on me and on that motherfucker, too. I don’t even want to say his name, I hate him so much! But I’m grateful for what you’ve done for me, so thank you.”
I have seen everything you have done and everything you have tried to do. You even took us the Memorial, to try to help us and look what he turned around did to you.” He shook his head. “I’m ashamed he’s my brother. I’m ashamed of all my family, except for, Sprout. Sprout is okay and she’s as mad as I am.”
“Thank her for me,” I said.
“I will. And, Elsa, if I do ever find a wife, I don’t think I’m going to introduce her to my brother. I’m going to keep her away from that asshole,” he said, as his face got red, imagining this. “Yeah, I don’t want that asshole near my wife, assuming I can find one. And that’s another thing I’m mad about…”
“If I could find a wife one quarter as good as you, I’d be happy. I’d be happy as hell. Half as good, I’d probably fall over dead, from shock! My asshole brother gets you, and look what he does. Yeah. He’s not coming near my wife. I’ll attend his wedding, but I won’t be inviting him to mine. He’s not good enough to be around women, especially a good woman, like you and like the woman, I hope to find and marry. If he wants to meet her, I’m going to tell him no. If he comes around anyway, I’ll kill him. I’m not going to be part of something like this, ever again.”
He stopped and took a breath. “Whew. I didn’t expect to say so much, but I don’t regret it. Are you all right?” he asked.
“Yes. It’s no problem, Shack’s brother. I understand. I know you didn’t have any bad intentions.”
“Thank you. I only regret vouching for the motherfucker who did this to you. I also regret having him for a brother, in the first place. I wish I didn’t! I’d like to kill him, but I can’t.”
He paused to make sure he’d said everything and then he shifted gears.
“Elsa, it makes me sad to say this, but I don’t think we’re going to see each other again. I’m not going to be your brother and you’re not going to be my sister. I wish this were not the case, but it is the case. We don’t live that close. Well, I don’t know where you live now, but I don’t think we’re likely to run into each other. I’m on my computer, a lot,” he explained.
I nodded and felt my eyes well up with tears.
“But I’m also probably going to leave town. I’m going to move.”
“WHAT?” I was stunned. “You love, Denver.”
“No. I don’t love, Denver. My brother loves, Denver. I’m here for him. He said he needed me, so I came here to help him. I no longer want to help him with shit! I only said I’d change the filter so I could see and talk to you.”
“Where will you go?”
He mentioned a decidedly un-sexy state. “Really?”
“Yes,” he said, nodding, firmly. “It won’t be easy. My asshole brother won’t help me, that’s for sure, but I have to do it. I have to get away from my brother, before I kill him.”
“You’re serious?” I asked.
“Yes. It’s the only way. Plus I do want to live in that state. We moved here, to be far enough away from our parents, we could stand them. We were trying not to hate them so much. Now I have to move to get away from my brother, for the same reason, because of what he’s done,” he said, shaking his head, sadly.
“I’m shocked.”
“Elsa, it’s for the best. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I hate my brother after this. I used to love him, but I don’t feel that way anymore. I prefer you to him. But he is my brother and I want to be a good man and that means I have to do everything in my power to try to forgive him. There’s no chance I’ll be able to do that, if I have to see his fucking face. I have to move, to have a chance to forgive him, in twenty years, maybe. And even if I do forgive him, in twenty years, I still won’t trust him. He’s lost my trust, permanently. I wouldn’t trust that motherfucker every again! Not an inch.”
I was speechless. He rested.
“Okay. So now we have to say goodbye. And I’m sorry, but we do. Elsa, I will never forget what you’ve done for me, and what you tried to do for my asshole brother. I do believe in you. I know you’re going to be an astrologer, and while I don’t think we’ll see each other again, I am going to look for you on the Internet.”
I was surprised.
“I know you’re not on there, but I hope you will get on there as soon as you can. I wish I could help you, but I now I can’t, thanks to you know who. But I’ll be looking for you, periodically. And when I see have become an internet astrologer, I am going to be very, very happy for you. Okay?”
“Okay.”
He hugged me, tightly. We both said, “bye”. He let go, turned abruptly and headed for the door.
He was crying before he got the door open, I’m sure. I sat at the kitchen table and sobbed.
To be continued.
){kind=link}