Ever feel like the stars just can’t make up their minds—kind of like when you’re staring down the dizzying lineup of Oreo flavors out there? Well, today the universe might actually be onto something because I’ve corralled every single Oreo I’ve tasted and ranked them without a single whisper of explanation. Yep, no sugarcoating—just pure, unadulterated Oreo judgment. It’s almost as if Mercury’s retrograde is messing with snack time priorities, flipping your fave flavors upside down—because who expected peanut butter to sit on the throne over classic chocolate? Got a bone to pick with my list? Go outside and scream at a tree—or better yet, mull it over during this cosmic confusion. Ready to see if your go-to Oreo made the cut? LEARN MORE

And now, as promised, here’s my official ranking of all the Oreos I’ve tried with no explanation whatsoever:

If you disagree with me, tough cookies. Go outside and scream at a tree or something.

17. Golden Birthday Cake Oreo

16. Birthday Cake Oreo

15. Golden Oreo

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14. Selena Gomez Oreo

13. Banana Split Oreo

12. Toffee Crunch Oreo

11. Lemon Oreo

10. Red Velvet Oreo

9. Tiramisu Oreo

8. Peppermint Bark Oreo

7. Mint Oreo

6. Chocolate Creme Oreo

5. Double Stuf Oreo

4. Dark Chocolate Oreo

3. Halloween Double Stuf Oreo

2. Standard Oreo

1. Peanut Butter Oreo

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