Ever get that nagging feeling that you should be relaxing but instead you’re furiously checking off your to-do list like a caffeine-fueled octopus? Yeah, me too. Especially if you’re an overachiever who thrives under pressure—Virgo moon vibes much? That relentless drive to smash productivity goals sometimes backfires, leaving you stressed out and wondering, “How do I actually do nothing without drowning in guilt?” Spoiler alert: doing nothing the right way is science-approved and might just be your secret weapon for even more creative brilliance. Turns out, giving yourself permission to pause isn’t just some flaky self-help fluff—it’s a powerhouse move to boost your brain’s mojo and keep that overachieving streak sustainable. Ready to flip the script on guilt and embrace downtime like a pro? Let’s dive into five surprisingly doable tips that help you switch off without the mental wrestling match. LEARN MORE.
You thrive on pressure and take pride in how productive you are, no matter how busy work (and life) gets. As an overachiever, your efficiency and reliability make you a go-to at work for all things difficult or time-sensitive. The problem is that your overachieving ways are starting to take a toll. Although you know you should relax more often, you’re not sure how to relax without guilt.
Not only is it difficult to find time for relaxing activities, like meditation techniques and mindfulness exercises, but, as an overachiever, doing nothing leaves you feeling guilty, lazy, and unproductive. And that prevents you from truly being able to relax, even when there’s time for it. As an overachiever, you value hard work, efficiency, and productivity. And that’s exactly why you have so much trouble taking time for relaxation.
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So your first order of business is to get to a place where you’ve accepted that relaxation is important. You’ll never prioritize it or learn how to relax without guilt if you don’t buy into the concept in the first place. So, how can you get past feeling guilty, lazy, and unproductive when taking a break or some time to relax? The answer is simple: Acquaint yourself with the research.
Studies show that periods of renewal and relaxation help to increase productivity and encourage creative thinking. In fact, continually working on a task or project without pause has actually been shown to inhibit your ability to think creatively.
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This means that there’s a productive purpose for downtime. By taking time for renewal and relaxation, you’ll be more effective in your work. And you’ll make it much more likely that your high-level performance will be sustainable, too.
If you’ve yet to try meditation (and even if you have, but it didn’t take), it’s time to give mindfulness meditation a try. The point of mindfully meditating is to give your brain a mental rest. Moreover, mindfulness meditation exercises have been proven to:
And the best part is that you don’t need to devote a lot of time to it. You can get started with just 5-10 minutes of meditation per day. (That’s what I do, and I’ve seen serious benefits from my short practices). If you’ve never meditated before or aren’t sure how to mindfully meditate, here is a great resource on how (and why) to get started.
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It’s difficult to take large chunks of time for relaxation, especially when at work. But the good news is that short breaks can do you a world of good, especially when work is crazy-busy. Here’s how to do it:
Taking these quick mental breaks will help you start making mental relaxation a daily habit. And once they become a habit and you start seeing the benefits from your breaks, you’ll find it easier to take longer relaxation breaks during weekends and vacation time.
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To help make relaxation a priority, set it as a goal. This is a bit of a Jedi mind trick, but it works for those of us goal-oriented, high-achieving people. For this to work, be sure to:
For example, let’s say that the purpose of your new relaxation goal is that you’ll have more energy. That’s not specific enough, nor is it tied to anything purposeful. However, having more energy allows you to take on an additional work project that could skyrocket your career or be more present at night when spending time with your spouse and kids. It’s tied to something with more meaning and specificity.
Re-framing your relaxation as a goal — and connecting it to the bigger, more meaningful reasons you want to relax more in the first place — will help you to focus on the benefits you’re getting out of it, as opposed to focusing on being lazy. Plus, you’ll be turning something you feel that you should do into something you must do, therefore changing your motivation for doing it.
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People who are more naturally positive have less stress and therefore are more naturally relaxed. But you don’t have to be born this way to take advantage of the positivity effect. You can train your brain to think more positively by:
Is it that simple? Yep.
You must take regular breaks from your email, social media, and even your phone. Disconnecting regularly means taking:
Trust me when I tell you that the world will not go into self-destruct mode without you for these short periods of time — even if you’re in a client-driven business. To ensure you truly unplug, schedule daily disconnect times, such as during your morning and evening rituals or meal times.
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For example:
Still, no matter how much you buy into the importance of relaxing, it’s still difficult to do it. Life gets busy, and it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of “emergencies” that come up on a daily basis.
Heather Moulder is a career and life coach and the founder of Course Correction Coaching. She specializes in helping professional women have both a successful career and a happy home life with real work-life balance.
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