12 Small Talk Phrases So Good, Even Your Overbearing Aunt Will Finally Be Impressed—Here’s What They Are!
Added on February 4, 2026 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Ever caught yourself mumbling, “I suck at small talk,” and then just dodging those awkward water cooler convos like they’re a bad zodiac sign? Well, guess what – according to Charles Duhigg, the guy who unlocked the mysteries in The Power of Habit, small talk ain’t some cosmic gift you’re born with. Nope. It’s a behavior you can actually learn. Now if Mercury’s in retrograde and your words are stumbling over each other, take heart: mastering the art of chit-chat is totally doable. Just like you wouldn’t wing your star chart reading, you can study the go-to phrases that small talk pros whip out like magic spells, turning any “So… how about this weather?” into a genuine connection. Whether you’re vibing with a longtime buddy or tossing out lines at a stranger, stashing a few key phrases could be your new social superpower. Ready to level up your conversational game and maybe, just maybe, stop feeling like a cosmic lost cause? Let’s dive in. LEARN MORE.
It’s easy to say, “I’m not good at small talk” and simply try to ignore it, Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit argues that small talk isn’t an innate skill, but rather a learned behavior. That’s actually great news, because it means we can study the phrases used by people who are amazing at small talk and start crafting phrases and questions to perfectly suit any situation. Whether you’re talking with a loved one or making small talk with a stranger, having a few handy phrases in your back pocket to use during small talk can help.
The more you study, the better you get at honing in on the practice, but for now, consider using one of these phrases people who are good at small talk always use. You can cultivate better connections, relate to people more effectively, and spark community in even the most mundane interactions.
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Making people feel important is the first step in cultivating a healthy connection and the foundation for building community. According to a study reported in the Journal of Research in Personality, when people feel heard, understood, and respected, they live happier and healthier lives.
Even when people are expressing negative emotions or complaining, making space for their concerns and struggles can help them to feel understood and respected. So let them vent and then let it go. Focus on active listening, asking tailored questions, and personalizing your importance. People love to talk about themselves, so let them.
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While it might be a pass to get out of a conversation or a segue into another interaction, using this phrase can be incredibly helpful for navigating small talk, especially for people you don’t know well or haven’t spoken to for some time.
Make them feel appreciated and “put a pin” in the conversation, rather than ending it completely. People feel more comfortable with warmth than cold in conversation, and will respond favorably to welcoming and empathetic energy, even with people they don’t know, according to the linguistic book “Small Talk” by Justin Coupland.
Even better, later that night after talking, send them a text and mention that you want to meet up soon and mention the topic you were discussing so they know you were listening. That will make them feel extra appreciated and heard and they’ll see you as a valuable friend or collaborator.
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According to research published in Psychological Science, the more substantive conversations people engage in, the happier they are. But that dosn’t mean small talk isn’t valuable. In fact, small talk is technically considered a gateway into more meaningful interactions.
As one of the phrases people who are amazing at small talk regularly use, this introduction to honesty in a passing conversation can help to build trust and remind people that you’re open-minded to diving deeper. It can invite them closer and create a feeling of connection, too.
Prioritizing honest communication isn’t just impactful for maintaining healthy relationships and friendships. If a question like this is utilized effectively during small talk, it can also help to build a bridge between you and another person — helping both of you to relate to each other, channel a bit of vulnerability, and find common ground that’s important for feeling understood.
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Life coach Lynette Baker argues that perfecting the skill of active listening during small talk can be a great way to show you’re connected and interested. Letting someone know you find what they’re saying interesting is key to showing them how actively engaged you are with what they have to say.
Baker explains that active listening isn’t only for the person being heard. It actually gives you an opportunity to better understanding of your own beliefs, promotes self-awareness of your own perspectives, and helps you to learn about your relationship dynamic, while still helping other people to feel respected.
Of course, you shouldn’t lie. If something is terribly boring, or worse, offensive, don’t say it’s interesting just to make someone like you. But when they’re saying something you like, tell them!
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The most anxiety-inducing interaction that every person fearing small talk worries about? A lull in conversation. So, how can you keep the conversation going? Use context clues, previous conversations, and experiences you’ve shared to bring up another topic that will both facilitate conversations and give others a chance to talk about something they’re interested in.
People who are amazing at small talk have a little cache of topics in their mental back pocket to pull out when things slow down. A few good examples: “Have you seen the new Denzel Washington movie?” or “What’s your take on this crazy current news cycle?” or “Have you tried that new pizza place in town?”
These things seem bland on the surface, and you can certainly come up with some more unusual ones, but people who are great at small talk know that it’s less what they say and more that they are asking questions so as to stay engaged. This works extra well when you ask about something you know (or suspect) they’re interested in.
You’ll soon learn that watching other people get comfortable and light up while talking about things they’re passionate about is one of life’s greatest joys. Don’t underestimate the power of a phrase like this.
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Another of the phrases people who are good at small talk always use is “What have you been up to?” It’s plain but powerful, as it not only gives people a chance to talk about themselves, like everyone enjoys, but gives you a chance to pick up shared experiences and common interests that can fuel later conversations.
While constantly turning conversations back to yourself can be a toxic form of self-focus that tarnishes relationships and early conversations, like psychological science professor Amanda Rose Ph.D. explains, a healthy balance of self-interest and active listening can be the perfect blend for small talk.
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Recall is an important aspect of conversation, both for facilitating small talk and for active listening, and can help people to feel understood and respected. Finding a common ground can help people feel connected to you and even make space for a sliver of community that many people are simultaneously yearning for and missing in their lives.
Find an old experience, preferably one that you’ve shared together or a shared interest to recall during small talk. You’ll open up the floor for them to talk about something they’re passionate about, or at the very least keep the conversation naturally flowing.
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According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, superficiality in conversation can prevent people from connecting deeply. In order to prevent small talk from limiting potential friendship and collaborative relationships, people who are amazing at small talk use bridge-type phrases like, “This reminds me of…” to take the conversation a bit deeper.
Something as seemingly superficial as recalling a random relatable fact can bond people and create a bridge into a more meaningful conversation. Bridging the gap between someone’s experience and a shared interest, news headline, or interesting fact can be an easy way to promote relatability in a simple conversation.
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People who are amazing at small talk, even with strangers, ask personal questions during conversations in order to go a little deeper and facilitate connection. Asking, “What is your favorite part of that?” when someone is talking about something they love, like a movie, a sport, an event, or pretty much anything, shows interest and let’s them get personal.
According to life coach Janelle Anderson, being genuinely curious in small conversations can not only charm other people, but help them to feel understood in passing interactions. Some consider it a conversational trick, while others suggest it’s simply a means to channel our human nature: yearning for community and connection.
Get out of your head, as Anderson wholeheartedly suggests, and let people talk about themselves without external judgment. What are they excited about? What are they looking forward to? What shapes their goals and lights up their daily lives?
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Similar to “what is your favorite part?”, people who are gifted at small talk often ask, “How did that make you feel?” in order to dive a little deeper when someone tells a story. This is especially useful if you’re talking to a good friend or a loved one, as this experimental question can open the door to digging deeper into the emotions and feelings that define an important experience for someone: the feeling of truly being heard.
According to a 2023 report, “feeling heard is not about any individual interaction partner, nor is it only about the collective, nor is it just about the appreciation of the interaction itself. Feeling heard is about all these things together, at the same time.”
That means the experience of feeling heard isn’t just someone saying the right things at the right time, or the person talking opening up. It’s about a dance between these things which creates a situation where a person can be heard, and when you think about it, that’s quite lovely!
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A research study titled “Project Aristotle,” conducted by Google, revealed that small talk and passing chit-chat can help to bond people, even in professional settings looking to cultivate a high performing team. Recall, an important aspect of active listening and meaningful small talk, can help to facilitate that bond, reminding people that you’re listening and genuinely interested in what they have to say.
Recall something that they mentioned in a previous interaction or earlier in your conversation. You might relate over a shared experience or open the door to another conversation about their future plans and exciting goals.
This starter sentence can be casual, like, “I remember that you are from the Midwest” or “I remember you were planning to buy a new bike” or “I remember you really love chocolate” or can be deep, like, “I remember noticing how much you enjoyed spending time with your grandmother.” People who are amazing at small talk then use a follow-up question to bridge into more conversation and connection, like “… and how is your grandmother doing?”
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Small talk is the gateway between meaningful conversation and superficial chat, according to social historian Joe Moran, Ph.D. When we remind people that we’re listening, viewing them as an entire person, and highlighting someone about them — whether external or internal — they can feel appreciated in their humanity.
It could be as simple as a compliment about a new hairstyle or excitement about a sense of confidence that someone has been committed to working on. Let them know that you notice them, their achievements, and their goals, even if they don’t seem all that significant to you.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango who focuses on health and wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.
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