11 Sneaky Phrases Low-Key Rude People Drop That’ll Make You Question Every ‘Nice’ Conversation Ever
Added on January 28, 2026 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Ever wonder why that coworker who so boldly claims, “I’m just being honest,” always seems to sting a little more than necessary? Or why someone’s go-to retort is, “You just don’t understand,” as if they’re harboring the secrets of the universe while you’re merely missing the memo? It turns out, rudeness isn’t just bad manners—it’s often a cocktail of personal insecurities, emotional blind spots, and yes, sometimes even loneliness. And just like a bad cold in winter, it’s wildly contagious; the more gruff you get, the more it bounces right back atcha, sparking a chain reaction of low vibes. In the cosmic dance of human interaction, some folks are just stuck in a rough orbit of negativity, totally unwilling or unable to shift gears. So maybe the best move is to spot those subtle red flags—those seemingly harmless phrases dripping with disguised snark—and gracefully put some space between you and their static. After all, with Mercury’s current transit nudging us to communicate with clarity and compassion, isn’t it worth asking: how much of that ‘honesty’ is just a cover-up for rudeness? LEARN MORE
Rudeness is often linked to personal insecurity, low emotional intelligence, and sometimes loneliness, and unfortunately, it can also be contagious. The more rude you are to someone, the more likely they are to be rude back, and that negative energy spreads to everyone over and over again. Sometimes, to protect yourself, you simply have to make peace with someone’s inability to change and create distance from them and their rude behavior.
The first way to do that is to notice their red flags, even if it’s in the most casual of conversations. For example, people who are low-key rude almost always say these certain phrases when they talk to you. While they might seem harmless and be covered up by excuses, they’re conveying this contagious, negative energy.
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If someone relies on jokes or phrases like “I’m just being honest” to disguise their rudeness, chances are they’re only protecting themselves from being called out. They refuse to apologize, even when they’re in the wrong, so they take extra precautions to ensure they can still weaponize rudeness to get their way.
A brutally honest person who consistently hurts your feelings actually just lacks empathy in their delivery. Not even trying to soften their words is low-key rude.
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According to a study published by WIREs Cognitive Science, truly intelligent, open-minded people aren’t only interested in having conversations with people different than them. They also simplify topics and avoid overcomplicated language to make interactions feel more accessible to everyone.
However, cruel people often feel a misguided sense of superiority when they know things others don’t. If everyone around them is confused, chances are they’re easier to manipulate into perceiving them in a powerful way. That’s why phrases like “you just don’t understand” are common for rude people.
They care more about their own self-image than about making their conversations and spaces accessible and safe for everyone.
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When people make fun of others and mock their contributions to conversations, it’s clear they’re compensating for something. Whether it’s low self-esteem or loneliness, these kinds of rude people make other people feel like “outcasts,” so they can form misguided connections with the “in-group.”
By saying things like “everyone’s different” when someone doesn’t understand something or trying to justify excluding them by picking apart their appearance, people who are low-key rude almost always use these tactics. They’re protecting themselves from taking accountability for their cruelty, all to make themselves seem more powerful and wanted.
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According to psychology professor Susan Krauss Whitbourne, mean people often find themselves in chronic cycles of negativity and rudeness because they don’t know how to express themselves authentically to connect with others. They’re always trying to make themselves feel better or to seem more important than the people around them, even if it comes across as rude and passive-aggressive.
So, if someone is using phrases like “no offense, but…”, chances are they’re not actually protecting your emotions. In truth, they’re trying to protect themselves from being called out.
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If someone’s lack of intelligence or emotional curiosity urges a rude person to confront their cruelty, take accountability, or address their own insecurities, chances are they’re going to do whatever they can to shut you down.
Whether it’s a phrase like “you’re overthinking it” or trying to gaslight you into doubting your own contributions to conversations, they’re not interested in entertaining the discomfort of personal growth and healthy interactions. They just want you to move and let them go on about their business.
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Gaslighting behaviors, especially when sustained over time, tend to disrupt a victim’s sense of reality and cause them to doubt themselves, according to a study published in Personality and Social Psychology Review. So, if someone’s urging you to suppress your emotions with a phrase like “you’re always so dramatic,” chances are they’re uncomfortable with or incapable of making space for them without confronting their own struggles.
People who are low-key rude may try to hide their blatantly manipulative gaslighting behaviors to avoid accountability, but that doesn’t mean they’re not cruel.
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Rude people lack a certain level of empathy in their interactions and relationships. They don’t care about seeing other people’s perspectives, making space for them, or offering help, especially if it puts their own time, effort, and comfort at risk.
However, when you’re an empathetic person or in a healthy, reciprocal relationship, doing inconvenient things for another person is common. You’re not only making decisions with your own interests, comfort, and needs in mind, but also because other people’s needs matter too.
While selfishness is nuanced and sometimes associated with loneliness, it can also be attached to manipulative behaviors that are important to protect yourself from. If someone’s turning down support and turning their back on you when you’re in need, using excuses like “that’s not really my thing” or “I don’t feel like it,” you’re likely not high on their list of priorities.
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Rude people are known for steamrolling over other people’s emotions and invalidating their experiences, especially when they’re calling out toxic behavior. If you express yourself or urge someone to apologize, and they respond with something dismissive like, “it’s not a big deal,” they’re being rude, no matter how harmless their tone of voice comes across.
While this kind of dismissive behavior can often stem from a person’s emotional struggle and insecurity inside, that doesn’t mean it’s not harmful, making the people around them feel unwanted and unheard.
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If someone relies on excuses like “that’s just how I am” to justify their behavior and avoid accountability, it’s not only a sign of their rudeness, but it’s also a reminder that they’re impossible to change. Someone can’t change just because you want them to, especially if they’re insecure on a deep level and entirely uncomfortable leaning into the discomfort true growth requires.
They’re not being empowered or confident by refusing to change, especially if they’re hurting others and themselves. They’re being problematic, rude, and manipulative.
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Instead of owning up to their mistakes, leaning into the discomfort of personal change, and taking accountability, people who are low-key rude almost always say phrases like “you always take things the wrong way” when they talk to you.
In doing so, they attempt to shift blame and deflect accountability, hoping to protect themselves from facing their deep insecurity, even if that comes at the expense of everyone else’s well-being and security.
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If a lazy co-worker or a bad friend is always responding to concerns with “I’m doing my best,” they may actually be saying, “I’m not interested in sacrificing my comfort to help you.” The healthiest relationships, in any environment or form, are the ones with partners who are comfortable taking accountability and responsibility for themselves.
They’re willing to admit when they have room to grow and always apologize when they hurt people. However, these low-key rude people will do whatever it takes to protect their self-image and run away from mistakes they usually perceive as character flaws.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
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