11 Friendship-Killing Moves Every Woman Secretly Makes — And Why Your Besties Might Be Ghosting You Without Saying Goodbye
Added on October 28, 2025 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Ever wonder why making friends as an adult sometimes feels like trying to herd cats under a Mercury retrograde? Most women crave a tight-knit squad to lean on when life throws curveballs—or to cheer them on during those glorious triumphs. But here’s the kicker: unknowingly, some behaviors can straight-up scare off those very friends they’re looking for. From incessant negativity that drags the vibe down faster than a bad daily horoscope, to jealousy that buzzkills more than a Saturn transit, these actions can leave a woman friendless before she even realizes it. If your social circle isn’t thriving, maybe it’s time to look in the cosmic mirror and see what patterns you might be radiating out there. After all, like attracts like—even in friendship constellations. Ready to find out which 11 traits might be pushing your besties away? Buckle up, because this astro-fueled truth bomb might just save your social life. LEARN MORE.
Most women want a group of friends they can lean on during bad times and celebrate with during uplifting times. But making friends as an adult isn’t always easy, especially if you’re introverted or a bit socially awkward. Sometimes, women may not realize how toxic they’re acting, whether it’s constant negativity or jealousy. Because if a woman does these things, she’s likely scaring off really good friends.
From the way she speaks about herself to the way she speaks about others, a woman who hasn’t evolved is bound to drive away new friends that could actually be good for her. Whether she realizes it or not, people attract friends who are similar to them, and if she lacks a strong friend group, she may want to observe her own behavior first.
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She might be a sweetheart, but nobody wants to listen to someone who always complains and brings the vibe down. Even if she’s going through a hard time, there’s a need for balance during conversations. As much as she may need someone to lean on, her friends can only offer so much emotional support before they eventually burn out.
While women adore their friends, they need to prioritize their own mental health first. As personal coach Homaira Kabir explained, “It’s very hard to be around such people because their negativity begins to color our world as well. Emotions are contagious, after all, and even if they don’t express their misery in words (which they regularly do), we can feel the heavy weight of their emotions.”
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If a woman only has one-sided conversations, she’s likely scaring off really good friends. Because nobody wants to sit and listen to someone drone on for hours. As much as they may care for each other, conversations grow frustrating when the focus is on one person.
There’s nothing wrong with someone talking to themselves, either. In real-life conversations, it’s normal for some imbalance to occur. Even so, if the conversation is only about one person and neglects the other entirely, it’s easy to scare off good friends.
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It’s normal for men and women to gossip. Even if they claim to’not be into that’ there’s always an exception to the rule. But too much gossip can be a bad thing. While gossiping with friends is normal, talking badly about people in real life who you claim to be friends with is a glaring red flag.
No matter the excuse, spreading gossip about others can leave a sour taste in a person’s mouth. Even if they don’t say it out loud, their first thought is likely, “Is that how they talk about me when I’m not around?” All of this can lead to trust issues, which hurt almost any friendship.
As experts from Michigan State University explained, “Trust is an important and tender aspect of all relationships because it requires us to choose to be vulnerable and courageous. When we have learned to distrust someone, it’s usually because we’ve come to understand that what we share with them or what’s important to us is not safe with that person.”
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Everyone makes mistakes, but when someone can’t own up to it, that’s something friends won’t want in their lives. They aren’t trying to be difficult, but there’s only so much they can take before they eventually become fed up.
While normal friends are willing to meet loved ones halfway, it becomes harder to do when nobody ever apologizes or admits they were wrong. This is why some friends would rather call it quits than stick around. Even if they value friendship, people who aren’t willing to admit they are wrong will never be on equal footing.
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If there’s one thing a bad friend will always do, it’s emotionally drain others. The constant drama, bad behavior, or criticism will get to them at some point. Of course, we’ve all been at the lowest point of our lives, and those around us have likely felt drained for a bit.
But a woman who never changes and continues to inconvenience everyone will almost always end up friendless. As much as she may try to cling to her friendships, without true change and acknowledgement, there’s no room for growth.
As psychologist Sherrie Bourg Carter, Psy.D., said, “They’re all around us: People who suck all the positive energy out of us to fuel their relentless hunger for negativity, leaving us drained, exhausted, and unhappy. Whatever you call them — energy vampires, energy suckers, or just unhappy, negative people — they can wreak havoc on your life if you don’t have effective strategies to deal with them.”
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Not everyone who acts controlling realizes they’re engaging in this behavior. Even if it’s clear as day to those around them, sometimes people are so caught up in their own emotions they don’t realize what they’re doing. But it doesn’t stop friends from leaving them, as a woman who is controlling or manipulative likely scares off her really good friends.
That isn’t to say that things can’t be resolved. Like everything in life, good friendship requires communication from both parties. So, if one party feels controlled or guilt-tripped, it’s up to them to express how they feel. But it’s also up to the individual to monitor their own behavior.
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If a woman is inconsistent or flaky, she’s likely scaring off really good friends, because this behavior is not only rude, it shows a lack of concern for people who are supposed to be important. Disrespecting someone’s time is extremely impolite and selfish.
There’s something particularly humiliating about sitting alone, staring at a phone, and wondering if they’re about to be stood up. Not only is it embarrassing, but according to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, being disrespectful can lead to more aggression than being disliked.
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An ideal friendship is one that’s filled with positivity and support, with people uplifting and encouraging one another. Unfortunately, not all women are secure within themselves and may become jealous or competitive. And if a woman does these things, she’s likely scaring off really good friends.
From dismissing their friends to being straight-up rude, nobody likes a person who can’t put the brakes on and control their emotions. Jealous women rarely have friends, and unless they’re able to acknowledge the error of their own ways, they’ll never truly have a genuine support group by their side.
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Many people overshare without realizing it. From trauma dumping to chronically complaining about their relationships, it can get pretty exhausting. But it’s up to the other person to set and maintain their boundaries. If there’s a topic that triggers them or makes them uncomfortable, they need to let people know.
As counselor Audrey Tait said, “Boundaries are one of the most important concepts, and yet many fail to fully understand them — even when they try to use them from time to time. The problem for most is in enforcing boundaries in relationships and staying consistent. If a person is never able to follow through with their boundaries, they will just keep feeling worse after their boundaries are repeatedly broken.”
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Friends are supposed to be there in times of need. There’s nothing wrong with needing a hug from a friend, but blowing up their phone demanding attention or not wanting them to spend time with anyone else is overdoing it. Even if some might put it under the guise of what it takes to show up for a friend, there are always boundaries that should be drawn.
Those 3 a.m. phone calls can only slide for so long before it exhausts someone. So, in order to be a great friend, check any clingy or needy behavior at the door. Establish boundaries with friends and never overwhelm a friend who’s already at their wits’ end.
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In no world is it ever okay to tell a friend that their feelings don’t matter. Even if she can’t understand them, dismissing them because of that reason alone is downright cruel.
As psychologist Mark Travers explained, “Verbal invalidation is the most obvious form of emotional invalidation, but it can also be conveyed nonverbally, through behaviors like rolling one’s eyes or glancing continuously at one’s watch or phone while someone is trying to be vulnerable. Having one’s thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviors dismissed and rejected can be extremely hurtful and isolating.”
Friends should always take a moment to hear one another out. Throughout the conversation, spend time validating, showing up, and listening to their concerns. Even if it’s hard, never interrupt them and always try to find common ground, even if it means pushing aside your pride.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
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