15 Sneaky, Brilliant Moves Smart Women Pull Before Letting a New Guy Near Their Trust—Prepare to Have Your Mind Blown!
Added on July 3, 2025 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Starting a new relationship can feel like riding a rollercoaster designed by Mercury in retrograde—exciting, a bit dizzying, and downright confusing when it comes to figuring out if you can really trust the person next to you. You’re buzzing with hope that this time it’s the real deal, but hey, in today’s world, trust is about as easy to come by as a stellar horoscope on a Monday. Lucky for you, there are some surprisingly simple yet savvy moves you can make early on to save your heart—and your sanity—before diving headfirst into trust. Sure, trust builds over time, but why wait to notice the red flags waving like a Scorpio at a tantrum? Let’s dive into the 15 things clever women do to separate the stars from the space dust when deciding if a new man deserves their trust. Ready to get cosmic clarity on your love life? LEARN MORE.
Your new relationship is off to a positive start, and hopes are hight that this one may last a long time. But these days, it’s hard to know if you can really trust someone. Fortunately, there are a few simple things you can do before deciding to trust a new man.
It’s true that a person’s trustworthiness can only be measured over time. Words and actions are revealed (and assessed) month after month, as those happy brian chemicals start to regulate. Still, in the early stages of a relationship, there are helpful signs to watch for that can save you a lot of time and energy.
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The longer you know someone, the harder it is for that person to keep from showing his or her true colors. In addition, research shows that our brain chemistry lights up with “happy hormones” when we first fall for someone.
This Honeymoon Phase is well-documented to be a time when we see the good and ignore the bad. It’s not a character defect, it’s a feature of our psychobiology and once you understand it, you can prioritize keeping a rational timeline so you can be objective in deciding if you should trust a man who is new in your life.
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Does he/she have longstanding friendships and professional relationships built on trust? Do people comment on your partner’s dependability? You can tell a lot about a person’s character by the caliber of his other relationships.
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People who are trustworthy don’t spend a lot of time telling you how trustworthy they are. They just live it.
Look for his actions: with people in his life, his family, his colleagues and even people you meet on the street or while in restaurants and stores. Is he who he says he is? Does he lose his temper or carry on petty grievances? Or does he make people’s lives a little better?
Spreading rumors is a form of backstabbing—breaking someone’s trust without their ever knowing it. Sure, it’s fun every once in a while to share a juicy story, but betraying confidences or risking hurting others isn’t just idle chatter.
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If he’ll betray others in his life, he’ll betray you.
Does he show up on time? Does she follow through on her promises? Being reliable with little things should give you confidence about the big issues.
What do his family and long-term friends say about him? Do they seem to trust him to follow through on commitments?
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Trustworthy people take responsibility for their mistakes rather than blaming others. Be aware of the manipulation tactic called DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) and try to spot it in your potential partner early. Often, times shows up in lighthearted discussions and will get worse as you become more connected and spend more time together.
Also, look for who is the “bad guy” in all of his stories. Does he ever take responsibility for his role in any of his past grievances or current dramas or is it always someone else?
Does he say things that seem too good to be true? If so, they might be.
Everyone exaggerates sometimes, but someone who is prone to exaggeration for the purpose of manipulation will exaggerate to the point where it’s only a small degree away from lying. It’s a form of plausible deniability, and you’ll need to trust your gut if you start to see this happen.
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Does your new partner promise you the stars and moon? Are his compliments over the top? Behind the flattering words, does he seem driven by his own agenda and needs, rather than a sincere interest in getting to know you and your needs?
If your partner is defensive or sensitive when you ask simple questions about where he/she has been, the person may be hiding something and is afraid you’ll put two and two together.
Do you feel closed out to certain aspects of your partner’s life? If so, you have to wonder what lies behind those cordoned-off areas. Secrets arouse suspicion—and often for good reason.
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Some people grow up in families that keep secrets, and a man shouldn’t be mistrusted simply because of this history. He should, however, take ownership of this history and do the work to break old patterns.
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If you notice your date flirting with someone other than you, neon lights should illuminate your brain. Flirting or checking out other people in your presence is disrespectful, and disrespect is a first cousin of untrustworthiness.
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Even if you haven’t yet committed to a monogamous relationship, flirting with someone else in front of your date is inappropriate and unkind. And it’s the “unkind” part you need to notice most.
Deceptive people must work hard to keep track of what they have said and to whom. When the details of a story don’t add up or keep changing over time, it may be a sign that you’re not getting the straight scoop.
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Someone who bends the truth “a little” in the early stages of a romance is likely to shred it to pieces later on. If you’ve caught your new partner in a seemingly innocent lie, watch out!
If you suspect the other person is not being completely honest and forthcoming, remember that you are entitled to the truth. Don’t let smokescreens deter you from getting a straight answer.
If you’ve been burned in the past, you may feel your partner isn’t entitled to your trust until he “earns” it. But an untrusting attitude can sabotage a growing relationship. Believe the best about your partner—and he might be motivated to live up to your high expectations.
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Eharmony is a contributor to YourTango.
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