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11 Phrases Your Parents Never Let You Say—And Why Their Silent Wisdom Might Just Save Your Soul (Or At Least Your Social Life)

Added on June 6, 2025 inASTROLOGY CARDS

Ever wonder if your mom’s “because I said so” actually shaped the eloquent—or, let’s be honest, sometimes brash—way you toss words around? It turns out, how your parents schooled you in manners speaks volumes about your character and the vibe you send out into the world. If your upbringing came with a side of emotional intelligence, empathy, and a dash of tact, you’re probably the kind of person who wouldn’t dream of dropping phrases that dismiss or demean others—even when you’re secretly melting inside. Today’s cosmos is buzzing—Mercury’s dancing with Venus, making communication all about charm and honesty. So, wouldn’t it be fabulous if we all inherited a sprinkle of that celestial finesse in our daily chatter? Let’s dive into 11 phrases that reveal whether your parental GPS was set to “raise you right.” LEARN MORE.

How your parents raised you can say a lot about your behavior and character. Those who were raised without proper manners may become combative, entitled, and sometimes even selfish towards others. They impulsively say things that harm those around them and expect to be forgiven just because they said it in a moment of anger.

People who choose their words carefully understand that even a small phrase can impact how others feel. So if your parents raised you right, you would simply never say any of the common phrases that are dismissive of or demeaning to others, no matter how you may feel about them.

Your parents raised you right if you would never say these 11 common phrases

1. ‘Whatever’

a woman says whatever to her boss and coworkers during a meeting fizkes | Shutterstock

Certain sayings are dismissive and downright disrespectful to use in public spaces. Stating “Whatever” after an argument makes it look like you lack accountability. In the professional world, it’s so rude that you could be let go for simply making the statement during a meeting when your boss or a coworker is trying to have a conversation with you. It’s an immature and juvenile phrase that signals to people to leave you alone.

Being raised right means learning how to speak with kindness and being considerate of others. It takes emotional intelligence to speak respectfully to others even when you are frustrated or stressed out.

According to a survey by Preply, 35% of workers found that the most important attribute of emotional intelligence in the workplace is empathy. People who were raised with emotional intelligence within the home are acutely aware of this.

RELATED: 10 Reasons Why People Are Selfish & Only Care About Themselves

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2. ‘I told you so’

a man tells his girlfriend that he told her so after he ended up being right as she cries Srdjan Randjelovic | Shutterstock

This is another phrase that speaks volumes about how maturely you handle disagreements. Those who were raised to be competitive will take being right about something to an extreme. A study published in Sage Journals found that mindful communication in intimate relationships is important, especially when power dynamics are involved.

Expressions like “I told you so” serve as tools for negotiating relational power, which can lead to undermining the trust and emotional connection between partners. Instead of pointing fingers, a person who was raised the right way wouldn’t be so quick to shame their partner, but instead know that everyone makes mistakes.

Being in a healthy relationship means letting your partner be right sometimes so that you can even out the balance of power in the relationship.

RELATED: 11 Phrases Brilliant People Use To Say ‘I Told You So’ Without Being Rude

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3. ‘That’s not my problem’

a woman says that it is not her problem to deal with Anatoliy Karlyuk | Shutterstock

Parental values often shape who we become as adults. When we are more willing to cooperate with other people and take on responsibilities then that shows that our parents did a great job in raising us. A study by the Society for Research in Child Development found that parental warmth and positive expressiveness were directly linked to children’s empathy-related responses and social competence.

Those who didn’t grow up with this type of positive reinforcement now see everyone’s problems as separate from themselves. They immediately tell people that their problems are not theirs to deal with and that they should solve it on their own. The problem with this is that it lacks humanity and a sense of community. As social creatures, we all work together to help each other overcome adversities, not abandon one another in our time of need.

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4. ‘You always do this’

a woman tells her younger sister that she always behaves in a negative way fizkes | Shutterstock

Stating this to someone generalizes a person’s actions and labels them unfairly. This turns a moment of frustration into an attack on their character. According to the International Association for Cross-Cultural Psychology, using you-statements can provoke defensiveness and escalate conflicts between people. It shows that you have some animosity towards them, and they feel as if they are to blame for something that isn’t a serious issue to them.

People who were raised right don’t put others in a position where they have to defend themselves. They understand that words are so powerful that they can bring others up or tear them down. Thinking before you speak is one of the easiest ways to deal with personal conflicts because it lets you talk to them in a calmer state. Throwing in accusations or bringing up character flaws will make you seem immature and spiteful.

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5. ‘Calm down’

a man angrily yells at his girlfriend after she told him to calm down and not stress out Roman Samborskyi | Shutterstock

Rather than de-escalating the tensions, people who weren’t raised right will escalate it further by saying things that they know will agitate the other person. Telling someone to calm down implies that the other person’s reaction is a problem that must be fixed. Emotionally invalidating responses like dismissing someone’s feelings or minimizing their emotional experience can lead to increased aggression in them.

To deal with people like this, it’s better to stand firm on your boundaries and tell them that what they are saying is harmful to you. You don’t need to match their energy or get pulled into the escalation. Instead, assert your needs and make it clear that respectful communication is the only way forward.

RELATED: 5 Ways To De-Escalate A Fight Without Telling Someone To ‘Calm Down’

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6. ‘That’s not fair’

a mother tells her adult daughter that it is not fair to question her parenting skills Thaninee Chuensomchit | Shutterstock

Parents who instill strong values like gratitude and accountability would never say something is not fair. This is because they are raised not to expect the world to cater to them. People who were taught to handle disappointment with maturity tend to focus on problem-solving rather than fairness. They can interpret and understand others’ emotions. This is what separates people who were raised right from others who were raised without warmth or emotion.

According to a study published in the Industrial Psychiatry Journal, authoritarian and permissive parenting styles resulted in lower emotional intelligence in children. Children who were controlled like this will not find satisfaction in different aspects of their lives because they cannot look beyond themselves and their needs. The only thing you can do in this situation is to remind them that the world doesn’t revolve around them and what they want.

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7. ‘No offense’

a man tells his girlfriend no offense after criticizing her cooking skills fizkes | Shutterstock

People who usually say “No offense” tend to say it after saying something incredibly offensive. What is meant to be a light-hearted rift on a person can actually be more damaging than we let on. It’s a form of passive-aggressive behavior that dismisses their skills, character, or identity. They may have heard the offense before, so it may trigger a past traumatic experience for them.

As John Staddon, Ph.D., explains, a person’s past experiences shape their reactions to certain situations, particularly in the context of perceived offenses. This can lead to misinterpretations between people when confronted with unfamiliar situations. Staddon also notes that it’s important to take in different perspectives before reacting to potential offenses.

Those raised to be considerate of others were taught that if you wouldn’t want it said to you, then you probably shouldn’t say it to someone else.

RELATED: 11 Phrases Parents Say That Are Often Deeply Offensive To Their Adult Kids

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8. ‘You wouldn’t understand’

a woman tells her husband that he would not understand how she feels Prostock-studio | Shutterstock

People who weren’t taught how to regulate their emotions when they were young might instinctively tell others that they could never understand what they are going through. But the truth is that you can understand what a person might feel about an experience without actually experiencing it yourself. That is what having empathy is all about.

Those who choose to be empathetic often come from households where feelings were shared rather than suppressed. Instead of brushing someone off, they take the time to listen to their perspective and support them. Respectful communication means inviting others into your experience instead of shutting them out with a phrase like this.

RELATED: 11 Phrases That Immediately Tell You That Someone Wasn’t Raised Right

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9. ‘You’re too sensitive’

a man tells his wife that she is too sensitive fizkes | Shutterstock

Telling someone that they are too sensitive is dismissive of their experiences and of feelings that could very well be valid. Those who were raised to look out for themselves rather than others will often say this phrase to shut down any criticism aimed at them.

This is often because when they were young, a parental figure did the exact same thing to them. Invalidation at a young age can have long-lasting effects well into adulthood. People who were raised right look at sensitivity as a strength because it takes courage to be vulnerable with others.

RELATED: How To Know If You’re Too Sensitive — Or If The World Is Too Harsh

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10. ‘I don’t care’

a man does not care about his relationship anymore PeopleImages.com – Yuri A | Shutterstock

Telling someone you don’t care, whether directly or indirectly, can be disastrous to the relationship. Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., explained that dismissive language can lead to emotional distance and decreased relationship satisfaction. It’s also considered rude when someone is trying to share their thoughts and feelings with you.

People who were raised right were taught to respect other people, even during disagreements. You don’t just walk away because the topic is not that interesting to you. Unfortunately, people who say they don’t care like this do so because their parents didn’t teach them to think before they speak. Making people feel heard and seen means listening to their opinions, no matter what.

RELATED: Stop Trying So Hard For People Who Don’t Care

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11. ‘You’re wrong’

an angry man tells his wife that she is wrong SrdjanVrebac | Shutterstock

While it might be satisfying to call out misinformation, it may sometimes shut down a meaningful conversation or debate. People who weren’t raised right criticize others harshly and enjoy the confrontation it brings. They revel in the discourse of proving people wrong.

People who were raised right, on the other hand, know better. Instead of bluntly correcting someone, they offer a more gentle approach that suggests another perspective. They know that there are other subtle ways to let people know that they are wrong without being condescending about it. People who were raised right know this truth because they were taught about actively listening to others and not judging them solely based on their viewpoints or values.

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Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.

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