From Tucson with Love: The Hilarious Odyssey of Shack Man and His Star-Studded, Off-the-Grid Getaway
Added on April 17, 2025 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Chapter 42 – Tucson & Back
Ever wonder if the stars have anything to do with our shopping habits? Well, as my Taurus Moon and Libra planets can surely sympathise, there’s a universal truth about what it means to go shopping with someone under the influence of planet Neptune—a time when clarity is more elusive than a Taurus in a spend freeze! And what about a sister who revels in boosting your wardrobe? Here lies an anecdote, poignant with laughter, tears and, of course, shopping.
In Chapter 42 of “Tucson & Back,” I’m back in that vibrant desert town to visit my sister She’s got some plans for us, involving not just shopping but shopping. Shopping with her is not just a trip to the store; it’s an expedition, an ordeal, and perhaps most importantly, an event.. You realise we’ll visit stores where she has crafted the narrative of our adventures, built an expectation around our shopping tales, and yes, I do exist! In the midst of those unique, inexplicable emotions, I headed out to meet her, with a mission at hand:
This journey was not just about visiting or shopping. With Valentines Day looming like a silent promise, I was seeking sanctuary from my own indecision and frustration. What do you get the man who has exceptional taste, and showers you with extraordinary gifts? An art that Shack has mastered better than Leonardo da Vinci sketching his first Vitruvian Man. Enter my sister, a veritable gift-giving genius, ready to redirect my Libra-dominated decisiveness paralysis. Knowing well, that in her presence, not only will I find the perfect gift, but I’ll also learn the art of it from the astrologically adept.
Fasten your seatbelts because in this trip, Operation Valentine’s Day was about to turn into a cosmic lesson in gift-giving. I could’ve cried, but with Neptune’s nebulous guidance, relinquished control – and that’s when the real shopping began Besides my sister’s celestial wisdom, there’s also Tucson’s sartorial haven, a city so attuned to style, it could be the fashion mecca to the stars themselves, perfect for harnessing the power of that Libra shirt and, incredibly, Shack’s dazzling new watch. LEARN MORE.
Chapter 42 – Tucson & Back
I always like to go back to Tucson. I didn’t have a specific plan for this trip, other than to visit my sister. Shopping is always a thing with her. You realize we’ll be going to the stores where she tells my stories. I’m sure there’s been a big build up around this. I actually do exist!
While I like what I end up with on these trips, there’s a price to pay as all the girls circle around. They want to meet and see my sister’s sister, in terms of body and clothing and possibly “mouth”, since we both have one.
My sister is tall and thin. I’m otherwise. I can understand it’s interesting. Thank God, I have a poker face. I recall her saying to one of them one time, ‘Quit looking at my sister and get the small! Can’t you see it hanging off her. Hurry! We need to find boots, too!”
My sister was surprised to see me so lovesick and intermittently distraught. She knew of my condition from our phone calls, but I’m pretty sure it was a shock to see. I had those crazy transits. It was out of my hands!
She was also pro-Shack. She wasn’t waffling at all; it’s one of the reasons I chose to go see her. I wanted support and she offered it without hesitation.
One of the things I was stressing over was, Valentine’s Day. I always want to find the right gift for someone, and I usually can. Shack was a challenge on two fronts. First, his taste really was extraordinary. But more than that, the skill with which he put things or “gifts” together for me was way, way, up there. She was going to help me with this. She repeatedly told me not to worry. We’d get his gift, right.
My sister is truly is a world class shopper, so I put all my faith in her. It wasn’t just my inferior taste. I have Libra and making decisions is very difficult, especially in an area where I have little confidence. Point here, is this trip turned into, Operation Valentine’s Day, right away. I could have cried a million, grateful tears. Thanks, Neptune!
Shack’s ring was really, really nice. He loved that ring. It was unique, masculine and stylish. My sister decided to shop around his ring and his face, or his look. We were going to get him a watch to go with the ring and a shirt and them something else. A joke gift. Everything would be wrapped together and it would be excellent.
This is literally, what he’d done for me, over and over. I wanted to learn how to do it for him. She was teaching me.
We got the watch, first. My sister doesn’t know much about men’s watches, but she knew how to handle this. I had a picture of, Shack, and a picture of his ring. “Come with me,” she said.
“We’re going to talk to someone who looks at watches on wrists, all day, five days a week. If the man at the counter doesn’t have taste, I’ll know it, and we’ll go somewhere else. But usually, they do. They watch people buy the wrong watch for them, all day long. It must drive them crazy, or maybe they laugh, I don’t know. But we will find this watch!”
We stepped up to the first counter. My sister always looks nice, and I clean up well, myself. He couldn’t wait to help us. We look interesting and we are interesting.
“This is my little sister; she’s in love,” she said. She has to have her fun.
“We need a watch for this dude,” she said, looking at me. “Gimmie the picture!” she ordered.
I was laughing by then. I handed her the picture and she lay it on the glass counter.
I watched the man scan the picture, sizing up my husband. My eyes saw his eyes perform this maneuver. My sister saw this as well.
“Okay,” she said. “Now give me the ring!” she ordered. I lay the picture of his ring on the glass; the man’s eyes popped.
Later, my sister would tell me, “Did you see him when he saw that ring. He wants that motherfucker. He was jealous as shit. He was thinking, who is this motherfucker, who gets a ring like that? And now he gets a watch! I guarantee you, he’s going to look for it, when he gets off work.” I did not doubt her.
“Okay. So you see what he looks like. He wears nice shirts, natural fabrics. He shops in San Francisco for his clothing,” she says as the man tries not to slobber. “So if he were to walk in here, show us the three watches you would try on him, first.”
The man was enjoying this game. It took him seconds, to reach left, right, and forward and set the pieces on the glass. “Okay, Elsa. It’s one of these three. How should we choose?”
The salesman suggested we each choose a watch and see if it narrowed it down. We each chose the same watch and bam! Score on the watch!
The shirt was harder to find, because there’s such a sea of them. My sister was going to choose it, with my help. I knew what was in his closet. We went to so many stores, my head was spinning.
We eventually narrowed it down to two shirts. We were using his picture and his ring picture to judge color. Libra would have bought both, to avoid making a decision, but my sister has, Aries. She chose the shirt, which was unique, slightly risky, but complimentary to what he already owned.
The third gift was a joke gift. I can’t remember what it was, to save my life. A shack-y trinket of some sort. Maybe. Back To The Future, dude. When he picked it up, he laughed out loud, so whatever it was, it worked!
That was it. We got a gift box and put some candy in the box; kisses, I think and that was it. I relaxed! From there, I had to go be seen by my sister’s friends and enemies. Small price to pay!
I’d planned to go home on Valentine’s Day and I’d called, Shack to let him know. “I’ll be home on, Tuesday,” I said, not mentioning the holiday. This was for his imagination. Like our first date. I quit talking to him, until we met in person.
I was going to leave a day early and stop overnight, so I wouldn’t be all ragged when I got home. I would drive most the way, the first day, so I could get home early and cook, without any stress. I was really excited.
I got home on time for what I needed to do. The house was clean and quiet. Whatever he was doing, there was no visible trace. I was struck by the void.
Shack came home on time. My sister was dying to hear what he thought, so I called her the next day.
“Well?” she said.
“Well,” I said.
“Elsa! Don’t pull any shit! Tell me how he liked his gifts,” she said.
“He loved them. He was stunned. He understood everything in the box. He immediately tied the watch to his ring. I mean, he picked up the watch and held it next to his ring, immediately. He laughed at the joke gift and he knew how the shirt fit in his closet. He likes chocolate. You did not waste your time on this boy!”
“Yes! I knew it!”
“Then he started crying.”
“What?’
“He started crying; full sobbing,” I said.
“Elsa, why?”
“He said no one had ever given him a gift like this in his entire life. He was floored. He was completely overcome. He was overwhelmed and heaving. So then I started crying, so we were both crying.”
“Oh my God, you fucking Leos! I hope no tears fell on that shirt!” she said, causing me to laugh.
“He got himself together. We were sitting at the table and he moved us away from the table, so we were sitting, facing each other.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes, and he grabbed both my hands. He reiterated, he’d never had such a nice gift in his life… and in fact, he’d never received a Valentine’s Day gift before in his life. Not ever. This was his first.”
“WHAT? Well that motherfucker sure scored, this time! I’d even be pleased with what’s in that box!” she said. I laughed.
“And you made me this dinner, too? I can’t believe what you’ve done for me. Where did you find that stuff? That stuff is insane! It’s the best stuff, I own!”
“Fuckin’ A!” she said. “I knew he was going to love it!”
“I told him you helped me and we used his picture and a picture of his ring. He was swooning. You took my picture? You took it into the store? This is what you were doing in Arizona? You went Valentine’s Day shopping for me? You took a picture of my ring, to make sure it would work with my new watch? Is that why?”
“He definitely knows fashion.”
“Yeah. He said, this ring and this watch and this shirt are the best things I have.” He was touching each item.
“My second house sun, understands!”
“They’re all from you, he said. Every time I see any of these things, I’ll be reminded how much you love me. But, Elsa?”
“But, Elsa, what?” she asked.
“He said he did not have a gift for me.”
“What? If that’s a joke, it’s not funny.”
“No, it’s not a joke.”
“He didn’t get you anything for Valentine’s Day? Fuck you, Elsa, you’ve got to be joking. Tell me you’re joking. There is no way he didn’t go shopping for you for Valentine’s Day. Don’t fuck with me!”
“I’m not. He really didn’t get me anything.”
“Really?” Why not? How could he do that do you?”
“I don’t know. He said, he thought we were fighting.”
“Fighting! You didn’t say anything about a fight!”
“We didn’t have a fight. But I guess he thought we did.”
“Jesus Christ, Elsa. When you’re mad, you are MAD! I don’t see how anyone could be mixed up!”
“He thought, when I said I’d be home, Tuesday, I didn’t mention, Valentine’s Day, because we weren’t having it, because we were fighting.”
“Oh my God. Did you not tell him, you were going to see your sister?”
“Oh course.”
“Well, I don’t know what to think,” she said. “How do you feel?”
“Well, I wish he’d have gotten me something, but I’m still glad I got him something, especially after finding out, no one ever has.”
“Yeah, that’s wild. But I can believe it. I told you he doesn’t’ get a lot of chances. You didn’t believe me.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“So you forgive him?”
“Yes. He’s done all kinds of things for me. Now that I know he’s been left out of Valentine’s Day all his life, I’m very glad to have broken that streak. Apparently he thought it was happening again, even when he’s married, so I’m just glad he was not left out this year and also, that his gift was so nice. You killed this. I’m telling you, he was stunned to his core.”
“So what did you guys do?”
“We ate dinner and went to bed. Regular Valentine’s Day. His first!”
“I’m not sure who to feel sorry for,” she said.
“Neither. He got his first Vee day present and I got to be the one who gave it to him. Thanks to you, he really, really loved it. The dark shade of the shirt, blew his gaskets and we know his watch is perfect. Don’t worry. Everything is good here. I really am okay. I was shocked, believe me, but I can see how this happened.”
“He better make this up to you, next year.”
“No doubt. I mean, come on. He’s generally the one doing the wowing. Don’t you think he deserved this?”
“I do, or I’d not have helped you.”
“I know.”
“But how am I going to explain to the girls how we shopped till we dropped for him and he didn’t get you a present? They’re not going to believe me.”
“I don’t know, man. That’s your issue. But thank you. Your shopping prowess is admired and appreciated, in Colorado. He even said, he may blow off, San Francisco, and start going to Arizona for clothes.”
“This is a resort town. They’ve got good shit, here. If they didn’t I’d move!”
Click.
To be continued.
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