“Unlock Your Fate: Discover the Shocking Secrets of Shack Astrology!”
Added on March 25, 2025 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Catch up here – Shack Man
Chapter Twenty-Eight – Shack Astrology
We moved into our new house, right away. Shack’s brother helped him move the stereo. As soon as it was set up, he took off, saying, “I’ll leave you two alone.” We were like two happy teenagers, who just pulled off a heist.
Shack had lots of ideas and plans, mostly around merging our lives. We’d determined I was not a climber, not a skier, not a runner, etc. He was okay with this, because when you do these things at his level, a beginner tagging along – well, forget it. I was relieved he was okay with this; he did not see me as a loser in Colorado, who couldn’t ski!
He’d been clear about wanting to continue his activities. He wanted to know if it would bother me. As a matter of fact, my sister and I had already gone over things like this, thoroughly.
My sister and I…
“He’s a flight risk,” I said.
“And you’re not?”
“Point taken. But what the hell. Look at this chart. We know it plays, because his sister told me he disappears women. Here today, gone tomorrow. It’s exactly what you’d expect with this chart.”
“Don’t you think I’ve thought of that?” she said. “You’re out there having your fuckin’ love movie, while I’m here going over his chart. I think I know the best way to look at this.”
“Okay…”
“First thing is, he does love you. If he didn’t love you, I’d know it and so would you. I…no, we, meaning, XXXXX and I, think he loves you. What do you think? He loves you, right?”
“Yes, he does.”
“Okay. Mark that off the list. Now, Aquarius moon. He needs space. You need space too, maybe not as much as him, but you definitely don’t want anyone hanging on you. With the rest of this chart, it is a concern but on the other side of this equation, you have a serious history with Aquarius moons.”
“Yeah?”
“You and Layne. That motherfucker fell for you the moment he laid eyes on you. I know. I was there! He came to the house to see me! Not that I was interested in him, but we were friends. We were outside talking, you come walking home from, Henry’s. He about ripped his own head off, jerking it to look at you.”
“Further, you guys dated for three years. The whole school voted you, ‘most likely to marry.’ God, that made me sick, but you see my point. You were like… twelve, when you met? Were you, twelve years old?”
“Yes. We met right before I started high school.”
“Okay, well three years is a long time at that age, and it was not a stupid little fling. W was picking him up off the ground by his head when he came over. It didn’t stop him. He didn’t even flinch. That’s just one example. I’m saying it was a real relationship. He loved
Catch up here – Shack Man
Chapter Twenty-Eight – Shack Astrology
We moved into our new house, right away. Shack’s brother helped him move the stereo. As soon as it was set up, he took off, saying, “I’ll leave you two alone.” We were like two happy teenagers, who just pulled off a heist.
Shack had lots of ideas and plans, mostly around merging our lives. We’d determined I was not a climber, not a skier, not a runner, etc. He was okay with this, because when you do these things at his level, a beginner tagging along – well, forget it. I was relived he was okay with this; he did not see me as a loser in Colorado, who couldn’t ski!
He’d been clear about wanting to continue his activities. He wanted to know if it would bother me. As a matter of fact, my sister and I had already gone over things like this, thoroughly.
My sister and I…
“He’s a flight risk,” I said.
“And you’re not?”
“Point taken. But what the hell. Look at this chart. We know it plays, because his sister told me he disappears women. Here today, gone tomorrow. It’s exactly what you’d expect with this chart.”
“Don’t you think I’ve thought of that?” she said. “You’re out there having your fuckin’ love movie, while I’m here going over his chart. I think I know the best way to look at this.”
“Okay…”
“First thing is, he does love you. If he didn’t love you, I’d know it and so would you. I…no, we, meaning, XXXXX and I, think he loves you. What do you think? He loves you, right?”
“Yes, he does.”
“Okay. Mark that off the list. Now, Aquarius moon. He needs space. You need space too, maybe not as much as him, but you definitely don’t want anyone hanging on you. With the rest if this chart, it is a concern but on the other side of this equation, you have a serious history with Aquarius moons.”
“Yeah?”
“You and Layne. That motherfucker fell for you the moment he laid eyes on you. I know. I was there! He came to the house to see me! Not that I was interested in him, but we were friends. We were outside talking, you come walking home from, Henry’s. He about ripped his own head off, jerking it to look at you.”
“Further, you guys dated for three years. The whole school voted you, “most likely to marry”. God, that made me sick, but you see my point. You were like… twelve, when you met? Were you, twelve years old?”
“Yes. We met right before I started high school.”
“Okay, well three years is a long time at that age, and it was not a stupid little fling. W was picking him up off the ground by his head, when he came over. It didn’t stop him. He didn’t even flinch. That’s just one example. I’m saying it was a real relationship. He loved you and you loved him.”
“Yes.”
“Okay, so that could be a fluke, but then when you’re fifteen, this is when you met, Scott. The infamous, Scotty. Scot-t, who never seems to fully die. This would be your next boyfriend after, Layne, right?” He was.
“So there are two men right there; your first two relationships – both with Aquarius moons and now here comes this fucking shack man, who has taken you by storm.” She stops to smoke.
“One might say, this is the moon for you. And in all three cases, these relationships started the minute these fuckers saw you. I would not be caught dead with a man with an Aquarius moon, but there’s something you like about them. It’s undeniable. Do you agree?”
“Yes.”
“One word answers, again. I can’t believe it. You can’t even speak. I tell, XXXXX, I should enjoy it while it lasts, but I can’t. It’s too unnerving. Let’s move on to the problem areas…”
“You know I learned to do this from you,” she said. “I had my own way of doing this, but when I saw how you did it, your way was better, so I mutated. My way was pretty good until I saw yours. That’s when I knew my way was stupid. I’m not going to ask you if you know this, because I know you don’t. Neptune has done a number on you, when a Pisces has to do your thinking. This is your job, but fuck it! Let’s proceed. What should we look at next? Can you think of the next problem?”
“Venus Uranus.”
“She rises! She rises and speaks words. Two of them, this time.” I roared. “Yes, Venus Uranus is a concern. But you have Venus and Uranus in your 7th house. Is that not equivalent? I can’t weigh this like, Libra, but that’s pretty close in my book.”
“Look, I’m sure he’s left some women, but what about the men you’ve left? Who’d win that contest? I’m going with you, hands down. Let’s hope he never asks you. Not that he has to worry about that, he doesn’t. You leave men, but I have never seen you leave one you love. If you love a man, you will stay. So he’s safe with you. Now let’s see if you can be safe with him.”
“Yes, let’s see.”
“Three words! Way to go, Elsa! You said more than that when you were two years old!” she said, laughing at her own joke. “I hope your mind returns, soon. I hate doing your work for you. It taxes me.”
“Oh for Godsakes! I am too close to this situation. Sadge rising! Sadge fucking rising.”
“Yeah, we wanted him to be Capricorn rising. We thought that would be better. He sure as fuck, climbs like a goat. This fucker is just like, Henry, with that climbing he does. Does he get a ladder when he dresses up to clean the chimney for you?”
“No, he just climbs the shack.”
“I knew it. But anyway, I was also worried about this but then I thought of, Henry, who also has a lot of Sadge. What planets did, Henry have in Sadge?”
“Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn and Uranus; also Chiron.”
“Now there is the, Elsa brain. I could not remember that if you gave me a month to do it, and it’s your fault.”
“My fault?!”
“Yes. Having you for a sister is like having an auxiliary brain. You store all the information. When I need some, I ask you and you spit it out. XXXXX can’t do this. He has some Virgo, so I was trying to get him to replace you, but it’s a no go. There is no brain in this world like yours and we can thank God for that, I guess.” She laughs and smokes.
“Whatever! Sadge rising!”
“Oh yes. Pull the Pisces back, she’s floated away. Henry had a lot of Sagittarius. Shack is like, Henry, in many ways. The more I think of this, the more ways I see. That’s good. If you are going to get married, which you have been going to do, since you were four years old, marry, Henry, not W!”
Blank.
“Don’t try to talk. I know you agree. So you have spent a lot of time with Sadge, though you are not a Sagittarian. You do know them and you know how to get along with them.”
“I do?”
“Listen to you. I do?” she says, mockingly. “Never mind, I won’t be mean. You remember this favor, when a transit knocks me on my ass.”
“I will.”
“You can get along with, Shack, so long as you treat him like, Henry. Remember, Henry, always took all those trips. Short trips and long trips, remember? Of course you remember, you remember everything.”
“I am remembering this conversation, right now.” I said.
“I believe you. And as you know, I am a Sadge. Sadge with Jupiter in Sadge. Even better! You get along with me too. See, as it turns out, this is easy. Way easier than I thought, initially. He’s going to want to go places. He’ll take you with him, most the time, just like, Henry. Just like me! I used to take you out our bedroom window with me, to parties. But sometimes, Henry, traveled alone. And I did not take you with me if I was going on a date.”
“I get it,” I said.
“Hallelujah! So he says, I’m going to blah blah to go do some shit you have no interest in. You say, see ya! Just like you did with, Henry and just like you did with me.”
“You may not be a Sagittarian, but you never impede a person. Henry taught us this and you learned it, the same way you learn everything. Like a motherfucker. And when I figured this out, I knew this relationship would work. Before you try to say anything, I have more I want to say.”
“I have been working on this for three weeks. Three fuckin’ weeks, ever since we got the birth time. You’re my little sister and I don’t want you to get hurt. I know you really love this guy. I have HATED doing this. I have loathed doing it. Wanna know why? I know you do. It’s because you could have done this yourself, in five minutes or less, if you had your brain. How do you think that makes me feel?”
“Well, I’m sorry.”
“She gives me, Libra. It’s okay! I’m just letting you know, two things… well, three things.” She hits her cig. “First, you are the astrologer in the family. It pains me to say it, but I just got my ass kicked into the next state and kicked back to my own state, doing what you can do, by pretty much, just drawing a breath. I know you worry about it, but you are going to be an astrologer, and one that is known.” She smokes. “Broadly. People will talk about you, they always do.”
“You can thank, Henry and I for the career, you’re going to have. He brought me to astrology and I let you tag along. You fucking eclipsed me, but don’t worry. I’m not mad at you for this. Astrology is fun for me, but it’s your destiny. I see this now and it will happen, along with the book you’re going to write and all the other shit, I’ve told you.”
I was quiet.
“Great! ZERO words. And the fact, I’m counting them. What a dipshit, I am. That’s my transit, I suppose. I need a nap now but there is one more thing to tell you, I almost forgot. I am being you, right now, so I can’t let it slide.”
“What is it?”
“What is in your first house?”
“Jupiter.”
“Jupiter rising, Sadge rising. When I realized that, I said, fuck it! I stopped thinking. Finally. There’s nothing in his chart you can’t answer and he hasn’t even seen your deck of cards.”
“You don’t think so?”
“Fuck no. Well, he’s seen a couple. You laughed at daddy, for example. I’m sure he noticed that. He knows he’s happy, which he never expected to be. He knows what you do for his brother, too. But he has no clue how smart you are. He’s in for a shock and another shock and another shock, for the rest of his life.”
“It’s the transit. It’s shut down your brain. He thinks you are cute and fun and you are, but he was no idea who you are, the power you wield and/or the magnitude or the degree of transformation, he’s about to undergo.”
“You think that?”
“Has he met your 8th house?”
Fuck. Good question. “No.”
“Well there you go. I do think his family is going to try to stop you though.”
“Stop me from what?”
“From making him happy. They don’t want this motherfucker, happy.”
“They don’t?”
“Fuck no! If they did, they’d leave him alone. He’s happy and they’re fucking with him. You will leave him alone. You’ve been doing it, automatically since you met. You left him alone to fix that car. This is why the motherfucker is happy. From what I can tell, he’s never been happy in his life. His adult life, let’s say. He might have been a happy kid, playing fort, but he’s never been a happy man. This is why they’re freaked. If she can make him happy, what else can she do? You have rung this family’s bell, like it’s never been rung before. You will have to pay for that. They will make you pay.”
I had to sit with that.
“Anyway, he’s been doing all the thinking. He’s the one with all the ideas. He’s happy doing this. He likes taking care of you, but when your brain comes back on and he finds out you can think his ass into the ground, he’s going to even happier. You think he’s happy now. This motherfucker has hit the motherlode.”
“Now I am fatigued, but in conclusion, I, your big sister, have concluded, it’s okay to marry this guy. He makes you happy and if he’s happy with you now… well, he hasn’t even seen you with your brain on. You are going to give this guy a happy life, beyond anything he could ever imagine. I know he makes you happy; he’s doing a good job. He needs to continue that, or he’s going to meet me and I will fuck him up, Sadge to Sadge.”
“Make him happy, how?”
“Kids for starters. Venus in Leo? You said he’d be a good father; this is something you’d know. You will make him happy with your love. I don’t think he’s had that before, but really it’s the meaning you will bring to his life. His life has no meaning and it never has. Filling in for your dead brother? That is not “meaning” for his life. You came along and now everything he does, matters. And wait until he has kids! He’s going to take those kids, all over the world and have the time of his life. He’s a lucky motherfucker, if you ask me. He lucked the fuck out.”
“That’s what his brother says.”
“The siblings know. We had to grow up in the same bedroom with you weirdoes. Now get back to your love movie…which is also his love movie. I feel like I’m going to faint.”
Click.
To be continued.
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