“Unseen Barriers: The Hidden Struggles That Sabotage Your Quest for Love”
Added on February 14, 2025 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Are we all just stumbling blindly through the labyrinth of love, armed with nothing but an unrealistic checklist of qualities our ideal partner must possess? I mean, let’s be honest, how often do we meet someone and think, “Wow, they tick all the boxes on my extensive list!” Spoiler alert: it’s almost never. In a world conditioned to see partnerships through a fog of societal expectations and personal fears, it’s no wonder relationships can feel like a tangled mess. If you’ve never had a role model for a healthy relationship or someone to help you decode the complexities of connecting with another human being, you might just be left scratching your head and feeling thwarted.
Today, I’m diving into one of the most common pitfalls in our quest for love: the dreaded “partner checklist.” It’s time to toss those mental notes out the window because looking for Mr. or Ms. Perfect often leads to disappointment. Isn’t it funny how we spend so much time trying to outline the ‘perfect partner’ while ignoring the beautiful messiness of real human connection? That’s what we’re exploring today! So, if you’re ready to shake things up and rethink what it means to find true love, keep reading—trust me, this could change everything! LEARN MORE.
I feel all of society is socialized against partnering at every turn. If you have no real-life examples of good relationships or you don’t know anyone who can help you untangle it, the knots are likely to hold. You’ll be thwarted all your life.
I want to take one of these things on today. It falls in the “mistakes of the intellect” category. This is a phrase I picked up from astrologer, James Braha. We all have these! It’s like your brain is caught on a branch, or you’ve got a single wire crossed, that’s doing you in.
I want to look at how people come up with what they are looking for in a partner. I’ve said this many times: a lot of people have the wrong idea of what’s right for them. But I want to get into this, today.
People make a list in their head… in their HEAD, about what they need in order to consider partnering. This practice has spurred, endless memes but it makes no sense at all.
It’s like going out into the world with a template to measure people with. I guess we’re all so infinitely wise and perfect… <- what a delusion!
In reality, the odds of your coming across, Mr. or Ms Perfect, are ZERO. Even if you think you’ve located this person, it’s a matter of time before you realize, they’re a horror like everyone else! Let’s look how real relationships form.
First, you feel something. Attracted? Excited? Curious?
It depends on your nature, I suppose, but can you see this is already, unsterile. Your list goes out the window, when and if you meet the person for you.
This alone should make you question why you even have a list. But my point is, people do not arrive on your doorstep, in perfect condition. If they did – well, what would they need you for?
I don’t care how good looking someone is, or how rich or how whatever, we’re all human and looking for someone to love and care for us. To keep us company in life? We all fear rejection, at some point. Even if you’re riding on top the high tide, you wonder where you’ll end up.
We all want to grow and we need others to help us with this. To force us to leave our comfort zones. To make us dig deeper and give more, perhaps, just because they exist.
But this is not what anyone puts on their list. Income. Body count. Height. Weight. Are you trying to marry statistics, or a living, breathing, human being?
The right person for you, will have things you need and need things you have. It’s a complement, see? What good does it do, if you snag a the big fish, and you don’t like the taste of it?
I think there’s someone for everyone, but people stray so far from who they are, they can’t be found by their “other”.
Feelings should never be discounted. The people in your life should make you feel something and I’m not just talking about love or passion. Joy, rage, jealousy, thrill; sometimes even things like fear and revulsion. People trigger each other. You look in a mirror when you partner.
“He won’t give me this!”
“Okay. And what is it, you won’t give him?”
Going through this process, over and over, helps a person excavate and develop their character. When one person in a relationship, grows, the other one tends to grow themselves, soon after.
I understand there are people who want to be alone. This is for the people who don’t.
I strongly suggest you toss your list. Look for someone you can trust and rely one. Look for someone smart and/or sophisticated enough watch their side of the street. If your partner can make you laugh, that’s solid gold right there.
When you see someone “lacking”, it may be, that’s your spot to fill. Like my husband coming a long, when I have an eight-year-old boy, with Aries, badly in need an alpha male figure. See the complement?
Bottom line, I wouldn’t bother looking for someone who has it all (doesn’t exist). Instead look at what you offer and how it might complement what the other person offers as this is how relationships really work.
It’s less about what you think your want; more about what you need. There’s an organic element to it. Has to be; why else do we have pheromones!
I think they closer you can stick to your natural design, the better your chance of finding your match. Really, nothing else make sense! How am I supposed to act like, Tammy, from down the street, and find my match?
Some months ago, I heard of a couple, married for fifty years. The husband never called his wife by her first name! Ever! The wife did the same with her husband. They called each other, “Miss Whitmore” and “Mr. Tuttle”, when they met. They both liked it so they stuck with it.
“What would you like for breakfast, Mr. Tuttle?”
“Coffee and a roll, please, Miss Whitmore.”
You won’t find things like this on a list! Toss the list and the whole idea of “what you want”, beyond, “a spark”. I’m suggesting, what you feel, including your bodily sensations, will guide you.
Whatever, Miss Whitmore, wanted, she got far when she found the man who would play this game with her for the rest of her life, as did he. They wrote there own story together as it was meant to be.
Do you have a list of what you want in a partner?
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