“Unlocking Confidence: Discover the 6 Secrets High Self-Esteem Individuals Know That You Don’t!”
Added on December 28, 2024 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Ever caught yourself wondering why that random compliment from a coworker can feel like a boost to your ego—or why a casual remark from a friend can send your self-worth plummeting? You’re not alone in this emotional tug-of-war! Self-esteem isn’t just a personal assessment; it’s a complex cocktail of how we view ourselves and how we think the world sees us. A recent poll revealed that a notable chunk of people—20%—feel their self-worth is more swayed by others’ opinions than their own inner dialogue! It’s a wild ride, isn’t it? But here’s the kicker: higher self-esteem isn’t just a feel-good buzz; it’s linked with everything from thriving relationships to better health. So, what are the secrets that those with high self-esteem know but the rest of us don’t? Let’s dive into the fascinating world of self-worth—saddle up and get ready to explore six insights that can change your perspective! LEARN MORE.
Self-esteem is defined as our subjective evaluation of our worth as a person. Needless to say, it is influenced by how we think others perceive us, too.
Indeed, in a recent poll of my readers, 20% said their self-esteem was influenced even more by how others perceive them than by how they perceive themselves, and 37% said their self-perceptions and others’ perceptions were equally important in evaluating their self-esteem.
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For all the debate about self-esteem, higher self-esteem is associated with more satisfying relationships, better academic performance, success at work, better emotional, mental, and physical health, and other positive outcomes.
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We also have self-esteem in specific domains, such as how we feel about ourselves at work, in relationships, our physical appearance, or our athletic ability.
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Self-esteem fluctuates daily and fluctuates over time based on our experiences and mental states. It is not a fixed trait but fluctuates based on situations and life events, meaning it is unstable.
A study published in the Journal of Research in Personality showed that it can be significantly impacted by social interactions, personal achievements, and even daily mood swings, highlighting its dynamic nature.
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Too often, it lags far behind, keeping us stuck with the same overly-critical self-perceptions we had in middle school.
We tend to think praise, positive feedback, and the regard of others are what boosts our self-esteem. However, while positive feedback matters and can improve our self-esteem, it only does so if we believe it.
That means that if our self-esteem is low, praise (e.g., I think my artwork is mediocre at best and my friend tells me I’m the new Picasso) will make us feel bad, not good because it’s a sharp reminder that we don’t believe we’re that great.
This is also why people with low self-esteem bristle at compliments — they don’t sound believable to their ears.
Improving self-esteem is therefore a delicate matter. You can’t just talk yourself into it or have loved ones shower you with praise — you have to first drag your current self-esteem out of the past, boost it, and bring it in line with who you are today.
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When self-esteem is too high it can veer into narcissism territory and become brittle and unstable such that it crumbles easily. Low self-esteem isn’t good either, of course, which means the upper middle ground is best.
Excessively high self-esteem can have negative consequences, often manifesting as arrogance, entitlement, and a lack of self-awareness. These can harm relationships and social interactions. 2023 research found that individuals with inflated self-esteem may display narcissistic behaviors, including excessive self-centeredness, a need for admiration, and difficulty accepting criticism.
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The truth is that they can make us feel worse. Again, praise only works if it’s believable to us, and the same goes for positive affirmations.
Looking in the mirror and telling yourself you’re beautiful when you don’t feel beautiful is likely to make you feel worse.
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Ironically, this worry is voiced primarily by people who dislike arrogance and value humility, which makes them least likely to go from humble modesty to narcissistic arrogance. Simply trying to improve self-esteem without addressing underlying issues or developing healthy self-awareness can lead to arrogance.
A 2021 survey found that individuals may develop an inflated sense of self-worth without a solid foundation, often overcompensating past feelings of inadequacy. Effective self-esteem-building strategies should focus on developing skills, setting realistic goals, and acknowledging personal achievements while maintaining humility.
But to be clear, if that does happen to you, do let me know. You discovered an even more amazing self-esteem booster, so please share your discovery with others.
Guy Winch is a distinguished psychologist and acclaimed author. His work has been featured in The New York Times and Psychology Today.
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