“Puerto Rico’s Hidden Struggles: Is Escape the Only Answer?”
Added on December 2, 2024 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Have you ever stepped off a cruise ship, ready for an adventure, only to feel more like a sleepy sloth pushing uphill against a tidal wave? Welcome to my Puerto Rico escapade! Picture this: it’s dusk, I’m with a lovely couple—their astrology talk is flowing like good wine, but all I can think is, “Where’s my lounge chair?” I haven’t slept through the night in over a year, and let me tell you, when you’re catapulted into the vibrant streets of San Juan with cobblestones underfoot, exhaustion creeps in like a shadow. As I navigate the winding paths and try to embrace the beauty around me, the thrill of a new port is overshadowed by an intense desire to retreat back to the ship, where comforting waves and the chance to share secrets of the universe with my daughter await.
Join me as I recount this surreal evening where my destiny seems to intertwine with strangers in white uniforms, and I’m left pondering: is it chivalry, or is there something else at play? Buckle up; this might just be the weirdest night of my life. LEARN MORE
*Note – the intro to this story is here: Gemini Hell Aftermath – Ships Ahoy!
The first day moves along and I meet a few folks. Among others, I meet this couple and got talking with them. She’s a Scorpio, he’s a Pisces and we had an affinity. They liked to talk about astrology, so do I, so this is what we did. We wound up agreeing to meet and tour the first port together that evening.
Puerto Rico.
We hook up and leave the ship. It’s dusk, approaching darkness and we’re doing what you do when you get off a ship. We’re walking around and I’m not very entertained. It’s no one’s fault. I’m just tired.
I had been more than a year without sleeping through the night and this is how it is. I see I’ve made a poor decision. I’m pushing Mosta in a stroller uphill, over the cobblestones and it feels obscenely difficult. I am that run down, it feels jolting to my worn out body.
Not only that, I don’t feel moved by the place. In fact to be candid, I feel “off”. I make a snap decision to cut my losses and go back to the ship.
I’m more interested in the ports to come. I have my mind on a day trip to the beach, and at the moment I want to be lying on a lounge chair with my baby on the mostly dark and completely deserted deck. I want to go wandering in my mind.
I’d discovered that it was a seminal experience to whisper secrets of the universe to my daughter on a ship in the middle of the ocean. I wanted to go back to serve and receive a second helping of this kind of magic. It was just a more attractive proposition, to focus on my daughter and explain the big world than it was to hike through Puerto Rico, so I called it.
“I’m going back.”
I sensed this couple was worried about me walking back to the ship alone and they confirmed this. Their fear may have been justified, but it didn’t matter. I was exhausted. I was punch drunk, even. Danger or not, I was going back regardless. This is how I live.
They offered to walk back with me. I thanked them, but declined. I did not think it was necessary and even more important; I did not want to be a drag on them. I take my chances, and I liked my odds okay. I was getting more tired by the minute just standing there talking about it. I was literally melting, so we made plans to meet at the pool in the morning.
I said goodbye and wished them a superior adventure, then turned on a dime and headed in the opposite direction back to the ship.
I got just a few steps, when out of nowhere four of the Italians appeared. I swear they just materialized.
Swoosh.
“Ciao Elsa.”
It was alarming because of their bright white clothing. It was almost dark now and everything in the environment was earthy looking. San Juan is a city made up of browns and tans and cobblestone and then BAM. Four men in white with polished gold trim.
Spooky.
They ask me where I am going. Laugh. Good question.
“Back to the ship”
“Why so early? Are you okay? “I had been off the ship, ten minutes.
“Yes. I’m just tired.”
“Are you sure? There are some nice places to go here.”
Is that an invitation? Don’t I already have a date with one of these guys? The Captain is not
there. “I’m exhausted. I am really tired. I have my baby, I changed my mind about being here.”
“Hmm… Okay. Then we’ll walk back with you. Make sure you get there safely.”
Fine.
Three of them start walking with me. The fourth begs off and heads in another direction. That’s good. One down, three to go and it’s 25% less confusing.
It is the strangest thing really. I don’t get it. I do not mean to imply that I am a stupid woman. I know damned well that something is constellating but I don’t know what.
Not much talk. We walk.
I was not really nervous and I don’t know why. Part of it may have been the exhaustion. Maybe I was too run down to have a nerve, but I also felt as if they were behaving in way that was more protective than anything else, so mostly I was just completely puzzled.
Are they being chivalrous?
Are they getting me back to the ship safely in service to the Captain?
Is there another agenda(s)?
I have no idea.
Matter of fact, the strongest impression I can get is that they have no idea why they are there either, other than they feel compelled to be. At least this seems true of two of them. I can feel the third dropping off and sure enough—he breaks away before we get back to the ship.
50% less confusing.
So now I am walking down the cobblestone path in Puerto Rico, pushing my baby with a ship guy in white on each side of me for reason non-specific, or at least not apparent. I would admit it if my ego was feeding off this, but it wasn’t. In fact I was a little stressed. I felt like I was under mob protection in a way. It is the uniform thing I guess and the silence. I know there are women who are crazy for a uniform, but I am not one of them. I felt as if I may as well have been flanked by the FBI.
No talk, just walk.
Did I mention that there was a language barrier to deal with? They spoke English with varying degree of difficulty. I do not speak Italian.
Good reason for less talk, eh? Whatcha gonna do?
I thought about trying to chat, but to hell with it. I did not have the energy to spend trying to think of something to say. Besides that, you have to concentrate to communicate through dense accent and I’m dizzy. Really. I feel faint. I am so tired, I feel helpless even.
What are they thinking?
What are they feeling?
What are they up to?
It’s anyone’s guess.
I might have told them to back off, but like I said, they seemed harmless and everyone seemed to imply that it may not be safe for me to be walking alone with my baby in Puerto Rico after sundown. As tired and compromised as I was, it was probably wise to honor their judgment, right? I don’t know if it was right or not.
I admit, I felt safe walking between them. Oddly safe. I understand commerce, and this was one reason. These ships are crucial to local economy. I will not be mugged while flanked by two six-foot tall ship guys wearing white. That’s just not going to happen.
It’s possible they have malevolent intent, but I dunno. I’m tired, like 10,000 years of tired. It had been a long day. I was in the land of “who gives a shit?” I decided that I’d worry about a problem when it became apparent that I had one. At the moment I did not perceive a problem, but I don’t know? What do you think?
We made it back to the ship and they escorted me all the way in, through the hoops you have to jump through at the entrance to the ship and I noted this. On one hand, it seemed kind of classy. Like a man walking you to the door, not dropping you at the curb. But I don’t know. Part of me felt like a package that had been delivered and I did not know which was real.
One thing I noted was that they were “seen” with me. The ship people at the “what’s it called” door of the ship (am I embarking / debarking, I dunno)… they seemed a little surprised that I was with these men and they were with me. I had the very distinct impression that it was unusual. In fact one of the ship checkin guys was going to say something and I saw one (or was it both?) of the officers shake their heads “no” to shush him. It was like “don’t ask, just let her pass.” He nodded back at them and this is what he did.
Hmmm…
One of them says “Have a good night Elsa. Get some rest and we’ll see you tomorrow night at dinner. We’ll all be there.”
The other one, “Wouldn’t miss it. Go take care of your baby. Get some rest. Ciao Elsa”
They’re both smiling. That was nice, but I’m too tired to think of anything to say. I smile politely; I probably thank them, who knows. I break free, and dash to the cabin.
Fast diaper change, then out to the deck, which again is completely deserted. Once in the cabin, I’d planned to just pass out, but then thought I should take advantage of being “home” but able to be outside. I’m not terribly claustrophobic, but don’t get any sense of peace from a small space like a ship cabin. In fact, I feel more contained and safe in the big world and so up to the deck for another dose of expansive horizons. This is my medicine. Plus it was warm. It’s cold in Colorado, snow on the ground when I left, so this is special treat. Mindboggling, really, how far I’d traveled.
I was lying on a lounge chair, my daughter asleep on my chest. I was dreaming and thinking about our future, when out of the corner of my eye I see one of the Italians come out on the deck, which was otherwise, deserted. He was apparently going to sit at their table and have a cigarette. It’s dark and I can’t see who it is. I need glasses but I rarely wear them, so I can’t really make him out. Night, like it was, considering what I was doing. daydreaming, it made no difference, the world was fuzzed.
I see the bright white uniform but I really I don’t care who it is. I’m scanning, but I am scanning for potential danger, that’s all. I am someone’s mother. Whoever he is, he sees me and waves.
I just barely wave back. I don’t want to encourage him. I don’t want to talk. For Godsakes I’m busy. I am trying to merge with all this water and I am doing a pretty good job. It is only my physical body in that chair, my daughter and I are way gone and that is the way I want it.
“Stay back.” That is what I am thinking. This is the vibe I send him, and this is what he does.
Good deal.
I closed my eyes and drifted back out. Forty minutes or an hour later when I opened my eyes the man was still there. It’s time to go inside. I chose the stairs at the opposite end of the ship from where the guy in white was sitting at the officer table.
Whatever he wants, I don’t have it. Whatever he has, I don’t need it.
I am going to sleep.
Captain’s dinner tomorrow night. We’ll be there.
To be continued…
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