6 Quirky Love Rituals That Astrology Pros Swear Keep Couples Hooked for Life—Are You Missing These?
Added on June 24, 2025 inASTROLOGY CARDS
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Ever find yourself wondering how long you can keep pouring love into a relationship when your own heart is craving that sweet, sweet feeling of being seen, loved, and appreciated? You bring up your needs, hoping for a little empathy, and what do you get? A hot mess of anger, avoidance, or worse—a reminder that maybe you’re ‘just not enough.’ Sound familiar? If Mercury in retrograde has you feeling like your love life’s on a never-ending cosmic rollercoaster, you’re not alone. Insecure hearts often toss blame like confetti, but what if I told you there’s a way off the merry-go-round—a route to a richer, more selfless kind of love? Buckle up. Here are six selfless habits that can transform shaky, insecure relationships into secure bonds that last decades. Ready to ditch the blame game and find your cosmic calm? LEARN MORE
How long can you continue loving without your need to feel loved and appreciated being met? You try to talk to your partner about your needs, and it just results in anger or avoidance. You may even feel worse. Any disagreement results in feeling like you are unworthy of being securely in love.
Insecure people tend to externalize and blame those around them for their insecure feelings. You may feel angry that they don’t meet your needs, and want to get back at them, or blame yourself. Despite them being insecure and taking it out on you, you can still move your relationship to a more selfless place.
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Each partner needs to commit to the relationship’s needs ahead of their own needs.
Insecure couples are focused on meeting their own needs. For example, one might get upset if they aren’t physically intimate as often as they want. The other might be upset that their partner doesn’t spend enough time with them, so they don’t want to be intimate.
Their need for emotional closeness is unmet, resulting in the other’s need for physical intimacy being unmet, and round and round they go.
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If being a couple was their priority, they would want to spend time being emotionally close to each other to meet their needs, and they would want to be intimate because their needs were met.
Both would benefit from giving to the other. Once this couple’s needs are met, they are more secure with each other and more able to meet each other’s needs.
Eder Paisan via Shutterstock
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Let’s think of the relationship of an entity. This entity is called your “relationship baby.”
This “baby” is only as healthy as what you each put into it. If one person puts 100 percent and the other person is only putting 5 percent effort into the “baby”, the baby is only going to be 5 percent healthy.
One person will be giving and not receiving anything in the couple-ship. The other person will be receiving and not giving.
Do you see the imbalance here? Ideally, both partners would give 100 percent effort all the time.
Then both would get their needs met, no one is neglected, and the couple is emotionally healthy. Life does happen, and there will be times when the giving and receiving are tilted in one direction or another, which is normal.
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Two people participate in a couple. Otherwise, it’s not a couple. It’s two people in proximity to one another.
If you neglect your partner, you will eventually cause your pain. You will use them up, and they will leave you.
The only way to get your own needs met consistently is to give your partner love, safety, and security. If one or both persons are abusive emotionally, physically, or spiritually, the health of the relationship is at risk.
The best-case scenario is a couple who values personal growth and works on their insecurities by building self-esteem so they can give to their partner.
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Raul Mellado Ortiz via Shutterstock
Each partner buys into being a safe person for the other.
This means that you reflect on your behavior and ask yourself, “Do I want to be treated the way I am treating my partner?”
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Other times, an individual with insecurity will treat themselves poorly and treat other people better than they treat themselves. These insecure people need to ask themselves, “Would I treat my best friend as poorly as I am treating myself?”
Then shift your thoughts and behaviors to be safer for yourself and others. As your insecurity wanes, you become more secure and more able to give to your relationship.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Insecure individuals tend to do things to appease others or to gain approval from others. You may say you will bring a salad to the potluck, even though you have no intention of following through.
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You try to avoid conflict, but only delay it. Try instead to say “no” when you don’t intend to do something, or yes when you will do it.
You will be building your approval of yourself by developing your integrity.
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Everyone is busy, especially if you are balancing work and family. But couples who do not make time for one another tend to be more insecure.
To build security into your relationship, make time to touch base with each other daily and go out on dates regularly.
Another example is texting each other throughout the workday to keep in touch. Ask your partner how they like to connect and what works best for your relationship.
Teresa Maples-Zuvela, CMAT, CSAT, LMHC, MS, is a licensed mental health counselor who specializes in working with women who have experienced betrayal in intimate relationships.
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