10 Brutally Honest Conversations Couples Have When Their Love Life Is Officially in the Danger Zone—#7 Will Shock Your Zodiac Sign!
Added on July 13, 2025 inASTROLOGY CARDS
Popular
Numerology Meets Netflix: Get Your Daily Dose of Cosmic Cinema Suggestions Powered By Our AI Astrologer. Find The Show Or Movie You Were Meant To See!
Then Join Our FREE Newsletter To Watch Your Choice Of Movies And Shows For FREE Plus Get The Latest Entertainment News And Updates!
Ever wonder why some couples communicate like they’re auditioning for a reality TV meltdown? Spoiler alert: it’s toxic, and not the fun, Stranger Things kind. In her book Toxic People, Jillian Glass dives deep into the twisted dance where partners either knowingly or not chip away at each other’s self-worth — talk about a relationship plot twist nobody asked for. These unhealthy communication patterns often fuel a rollercoaster of nasty fights, tearful breakups, and make-up drama that could rival a daytime soap opera. And get this: it’s not just emotional chaos — being entangled with someone who thrives on toxicity can lead to real psychological aftermath, including trauma and sleepless nights. With Mercury wandering through a tense square today, maybe it’s no coincidence that miscommunication feels extra spicy. Curious about the top ten ways couples sabotage their own script? Let’s unwrap this drama like it’s the latest binge-worthy series. LEARN MORE
When your relationship is in bad place it almost always include toxic communication patterns. In her book Toxic People, Jillian Glass described a relationship dynamic in which one or both people intentionally or unintentionally undermine, disrespect, or put down the other.
In couples, these kinds of communication tendencies are often associated with cycles of painful fights or even breakups, followed by dramatic reconciliations, making for a very tense, chaotic, and unstable foundational connection. Toxic communication patterns can have negative psychological consequences for people in relationships.
Advertisement
For example, in a sample of 457 former and current romantic partners of people with psychopathic traits recruited from support-group websites, researchers found noteworthy emotional consequences of being in a romantic partnership with someone who tends to act in intentionally mean, impulsive, and harmful ways.
To put it another way, being in a relationship with someone who has toxic tendencies was associated with trauma responses (hypervigilance, obsessive thinking, reliving events), symptoms of depression and anxiety, biological consequences (difficulty sleeping), and guilt or shame.
Advertisement
Studio Romantic / Shutterstock
Comments that intentionally try to make someone feel bad about who they are as a person. This is often reflected through using labels that cut someone down and label them in a negative light, like calling them “stupid” or “a loser.”
Being regularly criticized or belittled can lead to feelings of overwhelming inadequacy, self-doubt, and low self-worth. Building a healthy relationship dynamic requires conscious effort to avoid these kinds of behaviors and positive communication patterns.
Advertisement
fizkes / Shutterstock
Capitalizing on a partner’s insecurities and vulnerabilities in a mean-spirited way. For example, during a heated argument, saying, “You’re still just as insecure and jealous as you’ve always been — your ex was right about you.”
When one partner uses vulnerable information to attack or manipulate the other, it can significantly damage trust within the relationship. The partner whose vulnerabilities were targeted may become hesitant to share openly in the future, creating emotional distance. Research has also found that the effects of targeting vulnerabilities can linger long after the incident, affecting future relationships and overall well-being
Advertisement
fizkes / Shutterstock
Being blatantly dishonest with a mate is a big no-no. Lying inherently erodes trust in a relationship, making it hard to stay connected when dishonesty is discovered.
For the deceived partner, discovering lies can lead to feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness, and anxiety. Deception creates emotional distance within the relationship by preventing partners from knowing and being known by each other.
Advertisement
Yuri A / Shutterstock
This is basically nonverbally communicating one message but verbally stating another. For example, when asked how a person is feeling, they may respond by saying, “I’m fine. Everything is good,” even though it’s clear that they’re angry, sad, or generally upset.
Research underscores the detrimental impact of passive-aggressive communication on couples. This pattern of communication plays a significant role in fostering conflict, eroding trust, increasing loneliness, impacting mental health, and potentially leading to the end of the relationship.
Advertisement
simona pilolla 2 / Shutterstock
Intentionally trying to make someone doubt their perspective or sanity. For example, to make someone doubt their choices, a partner might say, “You’re just insane. Your feelings are flat-out wrong.”
Gaslighting creates a power imbalance within the relationship. This form of emotional manipulation can be just as damaging, with some experts arguing more so than physical abuse.
Advertisement
Ground Picture / Shutterstock
Cutting off contact, communication, or even physical touch to punish a mate. Here, it’s the lack of contact and communication that’s harmful.
Research stresses the distinction that unintentional stonewalling, which often stems from emotional overwhelm, and intentional stonewalling, which can be a form of manipulation, can be mistaken for each other. Where one is most likely a symptom of past trauma, the latter can be considered emotional abuse.
Advertisement
fizkes / Shutterstock
Explaining away unacceptable behavior, being defensive, or refusing to see one’s role in conflict (even if it’s a small one). Instead of owning disrespectful commentary, for example, a person may say, “I only acted that way because I love you so much; you know I never meant to hurt you.”
A partner who is on the receiving end of this behavior can end up developing overwhelming feelings of resentment and anger. This partner might feel unable to communicate effectively, rebuild trust, or work together, leading to the eventual end of the relationship.
Advertisement
Yuri A / Shutterstock
Body language, vocal intonation, eye contact, and/or other non-verbal cues that indicate dismissal and disapproval. Although a person may not say something directly disrespectful, they can communicate disregard, discontent, and disinterest very easily without words.
Research strongly suggests that disrespectful nonverbal communication can have serious, cascading negative consequences for both the couple and the individuals within the relationship. Because nonverbal cues are open to misinterpretation, it is crucial for couples to verbally address their body language preferences and seek clarification when unsure of their partner’s nonverbal messages.
Advertisement
WBMUL / Shutterstock
Screaming, shouting, and highly emotionally volatile interactions. Big blow-out fights lead people to say mean things — not just in content, but in tone. It’s not only what is said but how it’s said that can be problematic.
These interactions play a significant role in mental health issues, decreased relationship satisfaction, and the increased probability of escalation to physical aggression. The partner on the receiving end of these interactions might find themselves experiencing lowered self-esteem and self-compassion.
Advertisement
Kmpzzz / Shutterstock
Coming from a place of superiority with an extreme disregard for a person because they are “less than.” For example, saying something like, “I’m a much better catch than you—you’re lucky that I’ve put up with your crap this long.”
Romantic relationships, marriages, and long-term connections can be really hard — it’s normal to have some ups and downs. That said, if you find yourself in a toxic pattern of communication with your mate that’s characterized by blaming, name-calling, disrespectful dialogue, or contempt that is damaging your physical, emotional, or spiritual well-being, it may also be time to move on.
Research by the Gottman Institute identified contempt as one of its ‘Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,’ a set of communication patterns that can predict relationship failure. Contempt damages the foundation of a healthy relationship by fostering disrespect and emotional distance.
Dr. Cortney Warren is a Board-Certified Clinical Psychologist and expert on eating disorders, self-deception, and the practice of psychotherapy from a cross-cultural perspective.
Advertisement
Auto Amazon Links: No products found.
){kind=link}